In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

7

When she walked out of the room, Colby laid me back against the bed. "Are you okay now?" I shook my head, feeling the tears still streaming down my face. "I'm going to get the Doctor T. I don't like this," he replied, standing up. "NO!" I yelled as he started to walk out. "Please don't leave me," I whimpered, as he turned back around. "Baby girl," he said, coming back to my bed. He picked up the controls and made the bed lie back down, then he crawled in behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist. As he pulled me against his body, I closed my eyes, soaking in the comfort that he was offering me. "I'll never leave you T. Never," he whispered in my ear. I didn't answer but my heart swelled, as we just lay there together. He stroked my hair back from my face, and leaned his own into my neck. "I love you Terra. I'm always here. You'll get through this and I'll help you. You're not alone in this." He continued to whisper encouragement into my ear, until my sobs eventually subsided. I felt drained and utterly weak. My body hurt. It felt like I had went to the gym and overworked every part of my body, leaving me in pain and stiffness the next day. Only this was so much worse. Every little movement had me hissing in pain, so I tried to lie as still as possible. "Can you ask the nurse to send me some ibuprofen?" I asked, my voice low and hoarse. "Yeah, of course," he replied, grabbing the bed remote and pressing the nurse button. Once he called it in, he wrapped his arm back around my waist, and lay quietly. The nurse came in with one of those tiny paper cups with a couple of 800mg ibuprofen. I knew it wasn't really going to work, but maybe it would help a little. What I wouldn't give for some pain pills right now though. I shook the thought from my head, and tossed back the only pills I could have, then let Colby put the thermos straw past my lips. After I took the pills, my bed was lowered back down, and Colby settled himself against me again. I still had so much to think about, people to talk to, and emotions that I knew would come and almost kill me...but for now, I was safe in his arms. I lay quietly, listening to his breathing, noticing when he fell asleep and his breathing became heavier and even. Denise eventually let herself back into my dark room, and smiled when she saw us. I met her gaze and smiled back. "You okay?" she asked. "No," I replied quietly, not wanting to wake Colby. "I don't know what to do Neece. I'm so confused." I felt the tears stinging my eyes again, but I blinked rapidly trying to force them back. "It'll work out T. They both love you and would do anything. I mean you could have worse problems, right? Like you not being able to move all that much, for example." She cocked her eyebrow at me, reminding me that I had more important things to worry about right now. I rolled my eyes at her and forced my hand up. "I'm already getting some strength back. See?" I said, flexing my fingers. "That's great T," she whispered. "But the more you worry about these other things, the less you're going to worry about your recovery. So you need to figure out what you're going to do." I put my hand down against Colby's that was around my waist. "I know. I just don't know how to do what I need to do." I looked back up at her. "I don't know how to live without Justin. I love him," I said, noticing how pathetic my voice sounded. "Then stay with him and let Colby go," she answered. "The man loves you, can't you see that? It's not fair to keep him hanging on like this. He deserves to be with someone who will appreciate what he has to offer. I love you T, so much, and these past couple of months have been hell, not knowing whether or not I was going to lose you. But what was worse, was watching him and Justin be by your side, doing what they both could to help, talking to you every day, making sure that you knew that we were here for you. They're both great guys. Yes, Justin made a mistake, and it could've been fatal but it wasn't. He is being punished for it, trust me. He won't forgive himself, even now that you're awake. He's going to hold that day inside of him forever." She sighed, and shook her head, looking away from me. "Everyone has come to see you. Kenzie and Sarah, usually with Brennen. They're basically inseparable. It's kind of annoying actually." I laughed a little, my voice shaky. "Sam, Corey, Jake, Tara, Kat, even Devyn. She came with Corey. Talk about awkward." She moved her body like she had gotten the chills and I couldn't help but smile at her. "My point is that you don't have to worry about having people to help you or care for you, when you leave here. We're all here for you...even if you happen to lose Justin or Colby. But you need to deal with it soon. Because it's selfish to keep them both, even if you love them both." "I know," I replied, licking my lips and tasting the salt from the tears that had managed to escape. "I will. I'll...I'll talk to Justin tomorrow." She raised her eyebrows. "Really? You're sure?" I nodded. "I'm sure. I love them both but..." I sighed heavily. "I can't keep pretending like my heart doesn't belong to Colby. It's hurting everyone involved more than it needs too." She smiled sympathetically. "I know this is hard for you, but Colby loves you so so much. The man is head over heels in capital L O V E. He's going to be ecstatic." I shook my head, but had a smile on my face. "I'm not telling him yet. I need to work out my feelings for Justin, and try to get over that first. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, if I didn't. When I tell him, I want there to be no hesitations, or residual feelings for Justin. I have to let that pain heal first."