In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

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He rolled his eyes, and placed his hands on my hips. I yelped a little when he pushed me back against the bed. When the back of my knees hit the mattress, it forced me to sit. He sat next to me, and turned to face me. "Stop. It's not your fault. I know you think it is, because you seem to want to take the blame for every fucking thing that ever happens, but IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. Understand? Amber has been broken. From what you've told me, and from the few times that I've interacted with her, I could see it. I don't know her story or what has happened to her, but if this didn't happen to you, to us, she would've just found someone else with another reason. Misery loves company, and Amber is miserable. I'm angry and disgusted with her, but at the same time, I feel sorry for her. Because, unless she figures out how to change, and forgive, she's going to always be alone, with only her anger and bitterness keeping her company. It was never your fault T. She just chose that reason to spread her misery." I shook my head and shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm not trying to get confirmation or pity or whatever you want to call it. I just want to let you know that I'm here for you. If you want to try to forget it, okay, but if you need to talk to someone and you can't talk to me, I'll support you talking to whoever you need too. I just want us to be open and honest with one another, so that we can get past this." He stood up, avoiding my gaze, and pulled his shirt on over his head. I looked down at my hands while he finished changing, trying to figure out how to ask him how we was feeling about what had been done to him. I guess straightforwards was the only way. "So, how are you feeling about all of this? About what happened to you. Are you okay? I'm not sure how to talk about it but I'll listen if you need me too." He kept quiet while he pulled his pants on, so I sat there in the silence waiting for him to be ready to speak. Once he was finished getting dressed, he pulled the office chair closer to the bed, and sat there again. "I don't know. It's weird because I know what happened, but only because someone else told me it did. I have no bad memories from it, no traumatizing event to hold in my brain. Just words. I don't feel like anything happened, but at the same time, I feel...just like something is wrong, ya know?" He met my gaze, his blue eyes begging me understand. I didn't. Not completely and I hoped that I never would. The only way someone can understand something like that is if it has personally happened to them. They can listen and nod their heads, even agree with what the person is saying, but they will never know exactly what they mean unless it's happened to them. "I can't imagine what that feels like, but I'm trying to understand." He bit his lip, his brow furrowing as he looked back at me. He nodded, and stood. "I don't want to think about it anymore right now. Are you feeling okay? With your sobriety and everything?" I knew he was referring to the fact that I had basically just broken my fresh sobriety yet again, because of Amber spiking my drink. "I feel fine, I think. I'm not overly craving anything, just woke up this morning with a hangover feeling. Still kind of dragging, but I'm okay." He picked up his wet towel and used it to dry his hair a little more. "Good. What do you want to do today? Just hang out in the pool, drive somewhere, anything  you want." I smiled at this gorgeous man standing in front of me, and thanked God for him. After what happened to him, he was worried about me. "I'm fine with anything you want to do," I replied. "But I need to shower first." He laughed a little, and held his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. When he pressed his lips to mine this time, no image interrupted it. I was just here, with him, enjoying his company, showing him that I loved him. The kiss was sweet, languid, almost lazy. My heart thumped against my chest, letting me know that I was painfully in love and there was nothing I could do about it. I was perfectly okay with that. We didn't speak after the kiss broke, just let our emotions roll over each of us, reveling in the fact that we knew we loved each other and that we would get past this. "Think of what you want to do while I'm in the shower," I said, just before I closed the door to my bathroom, cutting off any disagreement that he might've had with that. The image tried to come back while I let the hot water beat against my skin, but I kept shoving it away, instead letting my mind overflow with memories that Colby and I shared, the little things that I loved about him, the way he was goofy as hell sometimes, almost childlike, especially when Jake was around. Eventually, I didn't even notice that the image never returned and my shower was finished. Maybe I had found a life hack. Once I got dressed in basic black ripped shorts, and a light blue fitted top, I decided to finish the look by actually fixing my hair and makeup. It had been forever since I had done anything, just not seeing the point anymore. It took a little longer than I would've liked, but I never realized that blow drying your hair actually hurts your back. I checked my reflection, noticing how the light, natural makeup accentuated my eyes. For the first time, in a long time, I felt cute. When I walked, I found Colby still in my room, sitting in the office chair, scrolling on his phone. He glanced up when I walked in, and a smile shaped his lips.