In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

77 Colby's POV

I lay my head back against the couch and closed my eyes. I could feel the steady thrum of a headache coming on. I lifted my hands to my temples and started to rub them, hoping it would help ease the ache.  When I opened my eyes, I caught Terra watching me. She seemed like she were scared to come near me or something, and I didn't like the way that made me feel. This entire fucking day had been so damn confusing, but I was sure of one thing. I could do this without her. I could live my life, going through the motions, be relatively happy without her. But I didn't want too. I knew that I could, because I had done it before. I had even kind of moved on, even though she had stayed in my heart without me even realizing. I could do it...but I never wanted too. She was my life now. That thought scared me a little bit. The intensity of the emotions that welled up inside of me made it hard to breathe.  I thought about all that we had been through these past few years. The incredibly weird way that our relationship had started, the long distance relationship, the adventures, the breakup, the accident, everything. No two people should have to work so hard to be together, but I guess it happens that way sometimes. What Amber had done...well, it was confusing as hell, and it made me feel like shit. I didn't know what to think about it because you never think that you're going to be a victim of something like that, especially being a guy. I didn't like that word. Victim. I didn't want to think of myself that way. As I stared back at her, and all of these thoughts ran through my mind within a matter of seconds, I tried to think of how she was feeling. I knew that she kept thinking about me being with Amber, regardless of the fact that I had no control over the situation. I could tell that she tensed up sometimes, when I would touch her. Her aqua eyes were scared, worried, and unsure. I never wanted her to be unsure of me. Not ever again. I held my hand out to her, and saw her face fill with reassurance. She crossed the room and almost collapsed on top of me, her arms going around my waist, as she buried her face in my chest. I put my arm around her tightly, comforted by the fact that she didn't tense up. I had always tried to be the one that was there for her, when she needed me. I had never stopped trying to get her back, to prove that she belonged with me, even when I wasn't so sure myself. This time though...this time, she didn't need me. I needed her. She raised her head and caught my lips with hers. Somehow, I could tell that she was offering me comfort. There was no heat, just a gentle wave of emotions, a steady current of love. I pulled her against me, deepening the kiss, hoping that she could feel the words I wanted to say, but just couldn't. When I placed my hand on her cheek, I felt the wetness of her tears. I pulled back, and looked at her questioningly. She shook her head, and looked away, wiping her face. "Hey," I said, pulling her against me, and putting my arm around her shoulders. "It's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. We're okay. I love you." She sniffed and nodded, laying her head back on my arm so that she could look up at me. "Do you promise?" I smiled, just a little, and tucked a lock of her behind her ear. "I promise. How are you feeling?" She rolled her eyes, and cracked a smile. I noticed the way her cheeks were just a little bit rosier than usual, her eyes glassy from her shed tears. She was beautiful. I loved these little things about her. The longer we were together, the more little things I noticed. It made me just want to watch her all the time, record all the little things in my memory. "I actually feel okay. I'm not sure if it's because I'm getting stronger, or what, but I feel okay. My body is a little tired, but really nothing compared to other times. I haven't even thought about it at all today. Guess I've been preoccupied with other things." The last sentence came out hesitant, angry, and hurt. I was always so surprised the way girls could do that. They could lay so many emotions into a single word. "I love you so much Terra," I said, pressing my lips to hers for a second. She smiled up at me. "I love you too Colby. So fucking much." She leaned up and grabbed my laptop, and set it in my lap. "Let's watch something scary. Or funny. Or scary and funny." I laughed at her over eagerness to take my mind off of things. We ended up watching Scary Movie, which is not scary at all but it had us both cracking up. After that, we decided to watch the entire series. When it was over, I looked down at T, and saw her eyes closed. I smiled to myself, looking at how her thick lashes cast a shadow across her cheeks. At some point during the movies, she had lay down on the couch and put her head in my lap. I was sitting on the end of the couch, but it was a sort of wrap around, so I had my legs stretched out in front of me. I didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful this way. Her face as relaxed in a way that I hadn't seen in a while. So I kicked my shoes off, and settled back in the couch. I put on some random YouTube video and watched until I fell asleep too. My dreams were confusing, random moments of sitting with Amber on the couch, feeling too hot and weird, recognizing the feeling but not knowing why. I remembered laying down and feeling someone tug on my shoes. My sleep was restless, and broken. I woke to Corey's voice booming through the hallway.