In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

72

I was shaking. I couldn't tell if it was because I was so mad, hurt, or that it felt like my blood had frozen in my veins. "I knew that sleeping with you would break her, just like it did all those years ago, when I slept with her ex," Amber said, speaking to Colby, but watching for my reaction. I felt the anger take over everything else, until I was seeing red. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I MAKE YOU," I exploded, moving towards Amber. Colby reacted, and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back. "LET ME GO! GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" I knew that he had been as much of a victim in this as I was, but the thought that he had been with Amber made me feel physically sick to my stomach. "T, you can't. You're not strong enough. You're still in recovery. Please," he said, setting me down on my feet, but keeping his grip around me so that I couldn't move. I was breathing hard, short puffs of breath leaving my mouth. I had to control myself because he was right. "You were my friend. I thought we had left the past in the past. I felt guilty for leaving you! Maybe I was selfish in that moment, but I couldn't help you without helping myself. I wasn't strong enough," I said, anger and hurt mixing into my voice. Amber's eyes were hateful, but I could see the hurt in them too. Why hadn't I noticed it before? Maybe I really was this selfish person that she saw me as. She rolled her eyes, and scoffed. "Please, you never had any intentions of coming back for me. Not from the start. But I believed you. I waited. I called. I did everything, thinking that, when you were okay, you would come back for me. To help me. Because you promised. But you didn't. You made up with your real friends, the ones who will never understand how hard it was, and still is, for both of us. You never came. You never called. You didn't even text. You just left me behind and carried on with your now perfect life, not giving me a second thought. I should've been used to it. Everyone always leaves me. I had learned how to be cold, ruthless, but you broke those walls down. You made me believe that you were my friend, and for that, I will never forgive you Terra. Not ever." My anger was quickly being replaced with guilt. She was right. I had promised and I had broken that promise, blocking it, when it would cross my mind. "You're right. I was a shitty friend. I realize that I hurt you more than I thought. I'm sorry, but you didn't have to do this Amber. This...you got what you wanted. You broke my heart," I said, meeting Colby's gaze. Instead of reveling in his blue gaze, loving it, it hurt. His eyes, begging for forgiveness of something that he didn't have control over, shining through as he looked back at me. I shook my head, a small motion that probably wouldn't have been noticed by anyone else. But he noticed. I covered my face with my hands, feeling my walls start to crumble. The shield that I always tried to keep up, the facade of being strong, when really I was a hurt, little kid on the inside. "I'm glad I broke your heart. Maybe you will feel just a little of what I felt after you made me think you were my friend. I hadn't opened up to anyone for years, then you came along and made me trust you, then dropped me, like I was disposable," Amber said. "It's time for you to go," Colby said, his voice deep and menacing. His cheeks were turning red, and his nostrils were flaring. He was as mad as I was earlier. Now, I was just done. I was broken. I couldn't look at the love of my life anymore, without seeing her laying on top of him, with an empty condom wrapper nearby. "Please just leave," I said, my voice heavy and drained. I felt empty, like I had nothing left to give. "Gladly. Just let me get my clothes on. You know, it wouldn't look great to have a half naked girl coming out of your place when it's just you and your boyfriend here. Is he still your boyfriend?" She smirked at me, and I wanted to be angry. I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't. Because I knew that I had done this. Colby was watching me, waiting for my answer, but I avoided his gaze and the question. "Leave. You got your revenge. You can't take anything else from me Amber. Leave." I guess Colby got tired of waiting, because he let go of me, and moved towards her. He picked her up, and tossed her over his shoulder, then picked up her clothes and purse with his free hand. "PUT ME DOWN!" she screamed, wriggling in his arms. He brought his other hand up to hold her in place, then looked at me. "Wanna open the door for me? Hands are full." I was in shock but I followed him out of the room, listening to Amber's screams the entire way. I was going to be surprised if no one called the cops on us, with the way she was acting. I opened the door, and Colby dropped Amber onto her feet. I watched as she stumbled, trying to gain her balance while he tossed her clothes and purse at her feet. "Don't ever come back here. EVER. Don't call. Don't text. Stay out of our lives. If you don't, I'll make sure you regret it. If you're in trouble, I hope you find someone who cares, because you've just lost the one person that did," he said, his voice hard. Amber looked just as shocked as I felt, but he closed the door in her face before she could say anything. He turned to look at me, and we just stood there quietly for a few moments. "T, I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. I shook my head and swallowed the sob that tried to escape.