In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

91

Is this what it felt like to drown or to suffocate? Denise didn't question me at all. I guess she could tell how serious it was just by how I was acting. We both jumped up and headed out the door. She grabbed her keys off the key rack by the door, and we were in the car and driving before I remembered again, that I didn't know where we were going. I dialed Justin's number, praying that he would pick up. "Come on, pick up, pick up, pick," I kept saying. It had only rang like twice but it felt like an eternity. Amber had done a lot of shit, bad shit, but she had been good too. She had a good heart, but the big bad world, and hateful people who had used her, had warped her reality until she couldn't see past it. I may not have wanted her in my life anymore, but that didn't mean that I didn't still care about her, and her well being. "T?" I let out a heavy breath of relief when he finally answered. "Justin, I need you to give me Amber's address right now!" I all but screamed into the phone. "Terra why? What's wrong? You know I'm not supposed to do that," he replied. I beat my hand against the car in frustration. We didn't have time to waste. "JUSTIN I THINK SHE IS TRYING TO KILL HERSELF! GIVE ME THE DAMN ADDRESS!" I screamed into the phone. "Terra, calm down. That's not going to help anyone. Just calm down," Densie said, still just driving aimlessly around. Justin didn't question me again. Instead he rattled off the address. "I'll meet you there T. Be careful," he said, then disconnected. I put the address into my phone and told Denise the directions. We happened to be going in the right direction already, by the grace of God, so we didn't have to back track. Denise was going as fast as she could, but it seemed to taking forever. We kept getting stopped by heavy traffic, and it made me want to pull my hair out. I kept trying to call Amber back, to get her to answer the phone, but she never did. I had a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if I was too late? I couldn't be. I had to get to her. I was all she had. It took us twenty minutes to reach the dingy apartment building. Twenty of the longest minutes of my life. "Please don't be too late, please don't be too late, please don't be too late." I started a mantra, just repeating those words to myself as we raced up the stairs to the fourth floor. My legs were screaming at me by the time we finally made it. I guess I wasn't completely back to my old self. Denise and I ran down the hallway, looking for her apartment number. "What if she isn't even here Neece? What if she's somewhere else? I won't be able to find her, because I don't know anything about her life here. Oh my God, I knew she was messed up in the head. I should've just listened to what she had to say, instead of just cutting her off." My anxiety was sky high, and my stomach was clenching painfully. "Did we even call an ambulance? Denise, oh my God, we have to get her help!" I was so stupid! I forgot to call an ambulance and now I might be too late. "I called them T. Soon as you got off the phone with Justin," she said, breathlessly. "Here it is." We stopped in front of the apartment door, both of us hesitant to proceed. I took a deep breath and knocked on the apartment door. We waited a long moment for any kind of sound, something. But there was nothing. "Fuck this," I said, turning the knob, praying it was unlocked. "Thank you God," I breathed when it turned easily in my hand. "AMBER!" I started yelling running through the tiny apartment. Denise and I split up, checking the bathroom, kitchen, and bedrooms. "Oh my God," I choked out, when I found her lying on her bed. I ran up to her, and grabbed her wrist to check her pulse. "Neece!" I screeched, needing her to get in here. She ran into the room, and stopped, shocked by what she saw. "What do we do?! I can't find a pulse Neece! Help me! What do we do?!" I was freaking out. She was gone. Amber was gone and it was my fault. I wasn't this good person that she said I was. This was the second time that I had cut her off, and now look. She was dead. I couldn't breathe. My chest felt like there was an anvil resting on top of it, collapsing my lungs. I sat on the other side of the bed, and pulled her lifeless body into my lap. It was hard, but I managed with Denise's help. The tears were pouring down my face freely, dropping onto hers. I watched Denise check her pulse on her wrist and then her neck, while I was trying to suck in some kind of oxygen to relieve this burning pain in my chest. She met my eyes after she removed her fingers from her neck. I could see it in her eyes. The remorse, the regret. There was nothing we could do. I let out a wail of anguish, and went to wipe my face. My hand brushed against something and then I saw it. My bottle of pills. It had my name on it. It was empty. She had taken my bottle of pills to end it all. "Neece," I whimpered, picking it up and showing it to her. "Shit," she muttered, and grabbed the bottle from me. "What are you doing?" I asked, my voice coming out gravelly. She was pulling the sticker off of the bottle. The sticker that had all of my information. "The cops can't see this. You'll be involved more than you already are. So I'm removing that part from the equation." She looked down at Amber's relaxed face. "You're finally free Amber," she whispered, her own eyes starting to get glassy. Just then several people rushed into the room.