In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

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 We walked out of the room, and headed towards the living room where I heard quiet voices. When we entered the room, all of their heads shot up and landed on me. I wanted to run, to avoid those eyes that were full of pity and sorrow. I avoided their gazes and looked at the floor, while Colby led me to the couch. Denise scooted over to the edge so that he and I could sit in between her and Sam. Justin was in the chair that was in front of the couch. I vaguely wondered if he had stayed the night or if he was here for some kind of intervention. "How are you feeling T?" Denise asked quietly. I kept my eyes focused on my hands while I picked at my cuticles. "Fine," I answered quietly. I felt horrible for what had happened between us last night, and I wasn't quiet sure what to say right now. I didn't know how to feel or what to do. My head was full of all of these thoughts and I couldn't sort through them all. "I'm sorry about last night T. You know how I can get. I was honestly just really worried about you." I nodded, and looked up to meet her gaze. She was chewing her bottom lip, which I knew was a nervous reaction for her. I realized that she didn't know how I was going to react. "I know Neece. I'm sorry I was such a bitch. I just-" I stopped talking and shook my head. "No, it doesn't matter why. I was just a bitch. You guys were just trying to help me through this horrible thing and I crapped all over it. I'm sorry." Colby wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him for support. I was reminded again how thankful I was for him. "That's not true Terra. It was hard for me to see...what happened. I can't imagine what it must've been like for you," she said softly. "Terra, you know that we're all here for you. Amber didn't deserve what happened but it still happened. Now we need to take the time to mourn properly, remember her how she was during the good times. I know you shared quite a few of those with her, even if they were...well, warped, for lack of a better term," Justin spoke up. I cut my eyes to him, wondering if it were really necessary to bring up the fact that Amber and I were usually high as shit when we hung out. I guess it was though. That's when we were the closest. We might've been running from our own demons, but we were running together. When I didn't want my other friends to see what I had turned into, Amber understood. She had been there and seen every disgusting part of my fall, just as I had seen hers. It wasn't a great way to be connected, but connected we were. "I have to call her grandma," I said after a moment, meeting Colby's gaze. "She'll need to know and I'd rather she hear it from me, from someone she knows, rather than the cops. Do you think I'm too late?" He leaned towards me and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Maybe not. Since it just happened last night, you might still have a chance. If you'd like to talk to her anyway, then just do it. You do what you need to do baby girl." I sighed, and let my body sag into his. "I don't know what I need to do. Is this my responsibility? It has to be right? I'm the only one that knew her here, that cared about her at all, besides her grandma." "It's only yours if you want it T. You don't have to do this," Denise said, placing her hand over mine and squeezing. "I think I have too. It should be me," I answered. I reached for my phone but it wasn't in my pocket. I scrubbed my face with both hands, and leaned forwards. "I don't have my phone and I have no clue where it is. Can I borrow someone's phone please?" Denise passed her to me, and I dialed a number that I hadn't dialed in years. When Amber's grandmother answered the phone, I wanted to cry again. I knew that I couldn't do that. This was going to be hard enough for her to hear. "Hey Mrs. Gail, this is Terra. Terra Brooks, Amber's friend." "Oh, Terra, I haven't heard from you for ages. How are you doing dear?" She didn't know. There's no way that she knew. She sounded too happy. "I'm okay. I'm sorry Mrs. Gail, but this isn't a social call. I'm sorry that I haven't kept in touch. Time just got away with me. I-" I stopped because I didn't know how to tell her that her only grandchild was dead. How do you tell someone that? That they've lost the person that they care the most about in the world? I had a new found respect for cops, doctors, and EMTs. There was no easy way to do this. "What is it honey? What's wrong?" I didn't answer, and started chewing my own bottom lip while I looked at Colby helplessly. I felt the tears stinging my eyes again. "It's about Amber, Mrs. Gail. I think you should sit down." Oh my God, how I hated this. This woman had been like a mother to me. She was almost 80 years old and she lived alone. When she spoke again, I could hear the acceptance in her voice. She had been expecting this call for a while now, with the way that Amber had been living. "Terra," she stopped and took a shaky breath. "She's dead." I choked out a sob when she said the words so matter of factly. "Yes ma'am. I'm so sorry," I answered, tears spilling over my bottom lids. "How did it happen? It was drugs, wasn't it? I tried Terra. I tried so hard to help her stay clean. I thought she was doing good. She was clean when she left for LA. She said she wanted to find you, because you were the only real friend that she ever had. I thought she was clean," she said again.