In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

21

She gave me a sympathetic look. "No, it's okay. I understand all too well. Trust me," she answered, her gaze going to Corey. I guess if anybody understood what it was like to lose the love of your life and to be constantly reminded of it, it would be her. While both of us were shy, it took us no time at all to hit it off. My day with Corey and Dev was filled with jokes, laughter, watching Corey dance across the floor, and having them both help me with my physical therapy.  I was nervous for the next day. That was Justin's day. I hadn't texted or talked to him in any way since I had broken up with him.The night before he was supposed to be here, I womaned up and texted him. 'Hey J, it's T. How've you been?' I chewed on the tip of thumb nail, waiting for him to reply. When I was about to give up, my phone finally went off. 'hey T. I'm okay. Thanks for letting me help you out. I should be there by 8 in the morning.' I let out a sigh of relief when I read the text. Things felt awkward, even through text, so I knew it was going to be weird tomorrow, but I had faith that we could get through this and be friends. Colby probably wouldn't like it, but then again, he and Justin had become sort of friends while I was out for the two months. It didn't matter. Justin was and would always be a big part of my life. There was too much history and love (just friendly love) between us to just throw it away. 'Sounds good. I've missed you. I'm glad that you're going to help out. Gonna go to bed but I'll see you in the morning. Night.' I put my phone on charge, and settled down into my bed as gingerly as I could. Physical therapy was actually kicking my ass and my body was screaming at me with every little movement but I had no choice but to deal with it. That's what happened when you chose to do drugs and unintentionally get addicted. This was my fault and I accepted that. I accepted the pain, but I really hoped that it didn't last too much longer. I craved a pain pill so badly that it was actually eating away at me. While I did only want it to help ease the pain, I knew that it would only trigger my addiction if I were to cave and beg someone to find me one. If I could find it in the backwoods of Georgia, I could find it in the city of LA. I was still asleep when Justin showed up the next day. I awoke to the smell of bacon invading my nose. It smelled amazing. A knock sounded on my door. "Come in," I replied, then watched as Justin walked in carrying a tray full of food. My stomach growled in response. "Hey sleepyhead," he said, grinning at me softly. "Good morning." I smiled back, and struggled to sit up. He put the tray down on my bedside table, then placed his hands on my lower back and my waist, to try and help me sit up. After a few minutes, we were able to get me in a full sitting position. "Good morning," I finally answered back. "You didn't have to do all of this." He shrugged, and picked up the tray, sitting it on my lap. "I wanted too. It was boring while you were asleep so I figured why not. Besides, you know I love to make you breakfast." I felt my face flush and looked down at the tray that was sitting on my lap. It was overflowing with bacon, eggs, wheat toast with jelly, hash browns, sausage, and a side plate of slice tomatoes. I smiled looking at the tomatoes. I remembered that little clip of Colby saying he hated them and that "that shit's just nasty," while making a disgusted face. I giggled quietly to myself, then looked back up at Justin. When I met his gaze, it shocked me into silence for just a moment. Not because I felt something when I looked into his eyes, but because I didn't. I still thought he had beautiful eyes, and you could see how sweet he was and that he had a good soul, but I didn't feel anything else. Just friendship and gratitude for everything he had done for me. "Thank you," I said, smiling, before I picked up the glass of orange juice that was on the tray, and took a few sips. "This looks and smells amazing Justin. Seriously, thank you so much," I said, taking a bite of the bacon. "It's no problem," he replied, sitting on the foot of the bed. "So, how've you been?" he asked. "I'm okay. I mean, I'm really sore, but I expected that. The pain isn't bad sometimes, and other times it's so horrible that I want to actually die." I shrugged, as his forehead creased. "Nothing I can't handle," I said, laughing. He smiled at me sadly. "I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. If I could take your place I would." My smiled faded as I thought of those words. He was the second man to say that to me and I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve these two amazing men in my life, trying to always make things better. It wasn't right. I sighed. "Justin, I've already told you that this isn't your fault. You're a great guy. You got angry and you had every right to. I shouldn't have lied to you. I should've been up front with you from the start, but I didn't want to admit it myself...and I wasn't sure that I could lose you. I did love you Justin, honestly. I still do. You're one of my best friends...or you were. I still don't want to lose you." I sniffled and felt tears prick my eyes. "You haven't lost me T. I love you and I probably always will. Strangely enough, I think you're my Colby." He laughed, and shook his head. "I really want to hate him, but I can't. He's a good guy and he truly loves you. I just want you to be happy Terra. Even if it's not with me."