In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

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"You look great," he said softly, putting his phone away and standing up. "Thank you," I replied softly. I still didn't really know how to accept compliments, but I was working on it. "So did you think of what you want to do?" I asked, slipping my shoes on. "Yeah," he replied. "How about we just take the day, and go for a drive. Anywhere. Everywhere. Just drive and enjoy the scenery, just you and me." I grinned, and nodded. "That sounds amazing." So we did. We stopped at a store and bought some snacks to have on the road, some drinks, and water bottles, then just set out with no real destination. We sang together, turning the music up as far as we could without busting the speakers, let the windows down, pointed out beautiful settings, or random pets to each other. On the outside, we played our parts well. We were the perfect happy couple just enjoying our time together. On the inside though, there was still a dark shadow hanging over us. I could see it in his eyes when he would look at me. I could feel it in my heart when he lay one hand on my thigh, with his other hand on the steering wheel. The way the first image I saw was them together, or the way I had to control my initial reaction to jerk away. I didn't want to be this way. I knew that we would make it out on the other side with this, but the journey was going to be hell. I had to remind myself that it just happened, that it would get easier for both of us. I wanted to be strong for him. He was the one who had been violated. I had just been betrayed by someone who I thought was a friend. My heart would heal, but I could only pray that he was okay mentally. It was different when a man, someone you know and love, has been sexually assaulted. You don't hear about that much, the other side. It seemed like he didn't even really know how to accept it, so that's why he was just avoiding it. So, we continued to fake it, pushing away the heartache and betrayal. Instead, we focused on each other, our fake smiles, hoping that they would become genuine eventually. Long drives were something that Colby and I both enjoyed. It seemed like it was freeing in a way. You could just drown in the music, and drive, leaving your problems behind you for a short while. Eventually, it has to come to an end. We had to face the horrible place that had become our reality. The sun was setting by the time we made it back to my home. He put his car in park but didn't kill the engine. "Are you okay?" I asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. He sat there, staring at the steering wheel, a strange look on his face. "Do I report this?" he asked quietly. "Do I report what she made me do? Do I go to the police T? I don't know what to do here." I didn't know how to answer him, but I tried. I lay my hand over his, and grabbed his chin with my other, forcing him to look at me. The look of uncertainty that filled his eyes broke my heart. "I don't know Colby. If you feel like you should, then you should. That's ultimately your choice. What she did to you was so wrong, and against the law. We both know reporting something like this will be a he said, she said situation. If you feel strong enough to go through that, to hash out the details of what you do remember to others, then you should. But you need to be prepared to accept that nothing will come of it. There's no proof and you don't even remember it. I will stand behind you one hundred percent if that's what you choose to do, and I will fight with you every step of the way." He looked away from me, and shook his head. "I don't think I'm ready for that. I may not ever be. I want to go home T. Will you come over and stay the night with me?" He sounded like a little kid, just asking for comfort and it shattered me. "Of course I will. Just let me grab a change of clothes, and some other stuff. He nodded, and killed the engine. We didn't speak as he helped me pack an overnight bag to stay at his place. Nothing was said until we were back in the car, driving towards the Trap House. "I think Corey and Dev are there. I haven't spoken to anyone all day so I'm not sure. T, I want to drink. I've tried so hard to not do that around you lately, but I think I need too tonight. I just want to forget for a little while. Is that going to be a problem for you? I won't if it will." His voice sounded desperate. I shook my head. "No, it won't bother me." I knew that drinking was probably not the best way to help right now. It obviously wouldn't solve the problem, but I could tell that it was eating him up inside. Through everything, he was still trying to do what was best for me. We didn't speak again, so I pulled my phone out. There were multiple texts from Denise, Sarah, and Kenzie, all just checking in to see if everything was okay. I texted them back, letting them know that I had my phone on silent and was just spending time with Colby. I would tell them what happened when they returned home. There was no reason to upset them right now. I knew that they would be gunning for Amber and I just couldn't handle that right now, on top of everything else. Once we reached his home, he grabbed my bag and opened my door, holding his hand out to me. We walked straight in, and up the stairs to his room. He tossed my bag on the end of the couch, then sighed, and flopped down on the other side. His laptop was closed, sitting on the couch next to him. I wanted to just go sit with him, comfort him, but I felt a wall, an awkwardness to it.