In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

49

I sighed again and snuggled my head into his neck, kissing his skin softly. "Okay," I said softly. As the night gradually came to an end, most of our friends called Ubers to go home, and we made room in our home for the couple of friends who stayed. Brennen stayed in Sarah's room obviously, and Colby was going to stay with me, but to my surprise, Elias stayed too. Colby and I were walking past Denise's room on our way to my room, and we passed her open door. "Neece, I can sleep on the couch honestly. Or I can call an Uber. I haven't even been drinking, but I caught a ride with Colby and he's staying here." The confused look on his face had me grinning. Denise bit her lip and looked at the floor. "I don't mind you sleeping in here. My bed is big. There's plenty of room." "Well damn," Colby murmured, upon overhearing their conversation. "Shhh!" I exclaimed, pulling his hand so he would keep walking. We made it to my room and he closed the door behind us. "So you're really feeling okay? This is longest time that you've been up and moving about in forever," he asked me softly, watching me change into a dry t-shirt to sleep in. "I feel fine Colby," I said, turning to my mirror and picking up my brush. "I'm a little sore, yes, because the medicine is wearing off, but it's not bad. Maybe I'm better than we thought." I shrugged, watching my self in the mirror as I brushed out my hair. I saw him move in the mirror's reflection and smiled when he came up behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head beside mine, on my shoulder. "You're beautiful, you know that?" he asked, turning his face to kiss my cheek. I turned my face to meet his, and pressed my lips against his. It was a slow, sweet, emotional moment, that almost brought me to tears honestly. I didn't think that I could ever love him more, but he fooled me every day, when my heart seemed to grow just so it could fit more love for him inside of it. "When's your next doctor's appointment?" he asked, taking the brush from my hands, and starting to run it through my hair for me. I watched him in the mirror and wondered again, if I were somehow still in a coma and this was all one big fever dream. "How are you real?" I murmured aloud. He glanced at my reflection, his eyes meeting mine, then a slow grin crossed his face. "I feel like I should be asking you that. After everything I've caused in your life, you still want me. Even after you see that I'm not this 'perfect' person that social media portrays me as. You know my faults, my fears, my insecurities. The problems that I have to deal with as we get more well known. How are you real? How am I this lucky?" I smiled back at him, feeling my heart growing for him even more, as I rolled my eyes. "Please, I'm nothing special. A drug addict that doesn't know how to deal with her emotions? That's just going to cause problems in your life. Especially once the fandom finds out. And they will find out about my past. I don't know Colby," I said sadly, letting the reality of future things get into my mind. "Is this even possible? Won't being with me tarnish your image? Someone like me..." I let my voice trail off as I shook my head. He turned me around so that I was facing him and put my brush down on the dresser. "I don't care anymore T. My 'image' is just that. Just an image. It's not who I am." He took my hand and placed it on his chest, over his heart. "It's not who I am inside. I've been trying so hard for so many years to keep this fandom happy, and would still get torn apart for any little thing. I'm over it. If people really care about me, then they'll still support me. It's not like I've committed murder or something." He shrugged, and raised my hand to his lips. I smiled, and thought back to when I only knew him through a screen. Even then, I knew he was a romantic soul. "Let's get you to bed," he replied, turning and pulling me with him towards the bed. I got in, and watched him walk around to get in on the other side. Once we were both under the blankets, I turned on my side, my back to him, and waited. A second later, I felt him scoot closer to me, and his arm go around my waist, pulling me against him. He buried his face in my hair, and sighed. This was the first time that he had stayed the night since we had gotten back together. So the first night that we had been in the same bed in three years. I was nervous but I didn't know why. I knew that he wasn't going to try anything. He still thought that I was too broken and didn't want to hurt me. I sighed and closed my eyes. I would always joke at Sarah and Brennen about how often they stayed together at night, whether it was here or at Brennen's. I told her once that she probably didn't know how to sleep without him anymore. While I laughed, she looked at me very seriously. "I can't actually. I miss him when he's not around me. The last time I was alone and tried to sleep, he was out of town, filming something for a video with Jake. I lay there the entire night, tossing and turning, until I finally called him. He was up too, and we stayed on the phone with each other until we fell asleep. I've got it too bad T. I'm a simp for Brennen Taylor." I laughed again, but nervously this time. I could sleep fine without Colby, but we hadn't reached that point yet. I didn't like to sleep alone though. I didn't have a choice with Justin sometimes, because of his job.