In This Life (Sequel to 'In Another Life')

58

Colby managed to get almost everyone to go ahead and go outside for me. Denise wasn't quite as easy. She narrowed her eyes at the both of us. "Are you just trying to get sexy time?" I choked on water that I had just turned up, spewing it everywhere. "What the fuck Denise? No. I'm tired," I said, annoyed with her. Denise looked at us both for another second before nodding. "Just checking. You don't need to wear yourself out even more before you've healed from the last time...just saying. If all that noise I heard was any indication, you went harder than you should've. And you," she said, turning to point at Colby. "You should know to be more gentle with her. She's still healing. She doesn't need you smiling at her, making her all horny every time you look her way." Colby's face was priceless, and I almost laughed. He stood there, mouth hanging open, a confused look on his face. "DENISE!" T exclaimed, taking the opportunity to throw the throw pillow at her. She caught it, laughing. "What? I'm just trying to take care of you." She winked at me, then tossed me the pillow. "Be good kiddies," she replied, shutting the door behind her. "Oh my God, I can't with her sometimes," I said, shaking my head. "She's just messing around. And being protective. I'm actually not sure what just happened..." he said, his brow furrowing as he thought about it. I laughed weakly, and leaned back against the headboard. "Okay, let me call Amber and see what's up." I picked my phone back up, and hit her name to call. "Terra!" She answered, breathless. "What's wrong Amber? What is it?" I could hear the fear in her voice. "I messed up T. I messed up bad," she said, her voice cracking with tears. "It's okay Amber, just breathe. Tell me what happened." I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Colby stood there, looking at me with concern. I heard her take a few deep, shaky breaths, combined with subsequent sobs. "T, I didn't mean too. I just- it was right there in front of me. I couldn't help it. Everything has been going so badly for me lately, and I don't have anyone to talk to, no friends. I'm alone in this, and I'm weak." My heart broke for her. "It's okay Amber. It's okay to relapse. You just have to start over, and know that one time doesn't mean that you have to start that life again. You are strong enough to beat it. Remember, I just broke my sobriety too. Beer, and pills. So, you're not alone in this. You'll always have me. Why don't you come see me for a little while?" I started chewing on my bottom lip and met Colby's gaze as I waited for her answer. She sniffed a little, and hiccuped. "Is there anyone there?" she asked. "Um, yeah. Sam, Katrina, Denise, and Eli. And Colby, of course. That's it. Come on, it'll be fine." She was silent for a moment, before she spoke, her voice stronger this time. I wasn't sure if it was a front or if she was really gaining control of herself. "No, I'm okay. I know that Denise hates me. Hell, they all hate me. I think I'm just going to go to the behavior clinic and see if I can stay there a couple of days, just to be sure that I don't make more bad choices. Thanks for talking me down T. You're a real one. I'll see you." "Wait, Amber, don't-" The call went silent and I knew that she had already hung up. "Damn it," I muttered, sitting up. "What's going on? Is she okay?" I shook my head, and stood up, taking Colby's offered hand to help. "I don't know. I hope so. She said she was going to go to the clinic so, if she stays true to her word, she should be. I hate this. I don't know where she is, and even if I did, I couldn't really help because of the situation I'm in. This is so fucking annoying!" I ended up yelling my last statement, and blinking back tears of frustration. "Hey, I know it is," Colby said, his voice soothing, as he wrapped his arms around me, and rested his cheek on top of my head. "It's going to be okay though. I know you want to always help others but you have to take care of yourself first. You can't help others if you aren't healthy. One day at a time, remember. You've got this." I smiled, my cheek against his shirt. I remembered when that used to be the slogan for their mental health platform. It had been years since that had been closed down. I wondered if they planned on doing anything else with that. Colby hadn't mentioned it, and I hadn't thought about it until now. I would have to remember to ask, but not right now. Right now, it was just a day of relaxation and his company. A good day...but Amber was going to be in the back of my mind until I knew she was okay. I just honestly didn't know what to do about it right now. I had no way to contact her besides her cell phone and I doubt she would answer me. I pulled back from Colby, kissed his lips, then turned around and picked up my phone. "What are you doing T? You know she's not going to let us know anything until she's ready," he said, sighing heavily. I looked up and met his gaze. "I know that Colby, probably better than you do, but I still have to try. I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't." I shot Amber a text, then tried to see if her location was on so that I could see where she was. She didn't. I remember having a conversation with her once, about how we never had our locations on, so that people couldn't track our phones. I sighed, and slipped the phone in my pocket. "You always care so much about others. I love that about you, but can you concentrate on yourself for today?"