Serving the Commander

Yearning

Eyes opening taking a moment to realize where you are, focusing on the dark figure lying next to you. Once fully aware now knowing that muscular back is that of Kylo Ren, frozen in place remembering the relaxing bath and wanting to just feel his soft bed before falling asleep. 'How could I be so stupid? What do I do now?' The moon light casting a small shadow on his back gazing at its beauty, without realizing stretching your arm out half expecting this to all be a dream running your fingers up the length of his back before placing it flat against his warm skin.

Doing so, he wiggles pulling your hand back watching him roll on his back relieved he is still fast asleep. Eyes glued to the rise and fall of his bare chest; biting your lip from the beauty of it. Without warning he speaks causing you to jump "if you want me to leave I can, you were asleep when I arrived, I didn't want to wake you." Beginning to slide out of the bed "no sir I'll leave, I'm so sorry I was just so comfortable I didn't mean to fall asleep I will go now." Quickly grabbing your clothes from the bathroom rushing to head out the door, just before slipping out hearing his voice "you don't have to go if you don't want too, there is plenty of room in my bed."

Stopping feeling butterflies and tingles all over your body "I don't want to bother you commander." Reaching for the door hearing his deep voice again "(y/n) don't go..." hearing him say your name making you weak at the knees. 'If I stay, am I a moron? If I go, I'm an idiot.' Turning slowly, walking back into his dimly moon lit room dropping your clothes sliding into the still warm spot next to him. Heart pounding staring up at the ceiling 'okay I'm here, now what.'

Just then feeling his big hand run across your stomach before stopping at the side of your hip, slowly he pulls you towards him heart racing every inch closer. Now lying flat only inches from him saying, "I don't know what you want from me sir... " he sighs before saying "I don't want anything from you." Leaning onto his arm before rolling half on top of you placing his knee between the opening of your legs, watching him lean down before feeling his soft lips kissing yours. Heart pounding, he kisses your cheek then jaw kissing over and over down your neck before whispering in your ear "I just want you."

Relaxing cradling around him legs resting on either side of his before pressing your face into his chest "I feel so connected to you Kylo you have this effect on me I can't explain." His hand raises your chin up eyes locking on to your own "as do I, will you let me show you the effect you have on me?" Scared beyond belief tensing before shaking your head up and down, he slowly runs his hands down your back before lifting the shirt over your head exposing your naked chest.

He stares at you before returning to kissing your lips, each kiss filled with lust and longing as he slips his tongue in your mouth running his hand up your side between your breast to your throat placing his whole hand around it he gently squeezes turning your head with ease before leaning down kissing and sucking at your neck humming into your skin each kiss more intense than the last. The warm pleasure building within you letting out a small moan, when you do feeling his length twitch between your legs making you squirm.

Placing your hand on his chest pushing back, confused he looks at you while gently pushing him back further "I want this I do... but I just... I can't." The words escaping your mouth as hot tears roll down your cheeks, wiping away the tears "I didn't mean to make you upset, I just wanted to make you feel good." Pulling away from him finding yourself word vomiting all about James and the emotional rollercoaster leading up to finding him with someone else. "I like you commander, I really really do but I can't get hurt again."

Standing ready to leave feeling his hand grab your arm pulling you back into bed before knowing it he has you wrapped tightly in his arms spooning you, as he kisses your shoulder gently "I'm not him, I'm not going to hurt you I give you full permission to kill me with my own saber if I do. We don't have to rush tonight but please don't go." Mind racing allowing yourself to melt into him your hands clinching his own as each of his warm kisses send shock waves throughout your body. Lying there for a while his lips never leaving your skin the warmth of his chest slowly brings you to sleep again.