Serving the Commander

Broken pieces

The walk towards the quarters ended way quicker than you would have ever liked, wanting to spend as much time with him as possible, mind telling you he will return but heart breaking over the possibility that he won't. This entire week you had been more concerned with the thought that you would be the one dying to actually stop and think it could possibly be Kylo, could you live without him, would it be worth it? Stopping just outside the metal door he stands waiting for you to enter the passcode, reaching out for it but quickly pulling back "I can't Kylo, I can't be alone without you. I'll go mad in this room wondering what's happening to you, what will soon happen to me..." slowly his own hand reaches up pressing the keys, they beep in slow motion before the hatch swings open pushing a gust of icy wind around the two of you making your hair blow backwards and his cloak flow with its breeze, turning towards you softly speaking "you must (y/n) I need to know you'll be safe, I cannot bring you around Snoke...yet until I know it's safe...please" gesturing with his hand for you to walk forwards.

Reluctantly stepping across the metal frame into the room, his hand slipping out of reach feeling the cold hallow emptiness of its missing impression, he stands just on the other side staring at you from behind the mask his chest slowly rising and falling with long deep intent breaths. Crossing both arms over your chest needing to feel any sort of comfort, Kylo looks down then up at a clock on the wall "I have to go now, stay here, I'll be back I promise." Pausing for a few moments before lifting his arm out towards you, slowly reaching for his hand letting out a soft gasp as your fingertips brush against the leather glove they hover for only seconds before he quickly pulls away sharply turns and walks off down the hall his figure vanishes when the hatch slams shut, leaving you in the dark cold room feeling incredibly sick to your stomach with loud unstoppable thoughts 'please don't leave me Kylo please...come back don't go....please, I just want to hold you, why didn't you kiss me goodbye? What if it was our last chance...and now your gone...' Feeling a heavy deep pain circulating in your stomach the need to vomit is creeping up slowly, the room begins to turn a fuzzy black the walls feel like they are closing in, blinking repeatedly while placing a hand along the wall holding yourself up while clenching a fist at your chest trying to calm the growing burning tingling sensation while your breathing turns shallow and rapid feeling as if you are going to pass out.

Suddenly the hatch swings open again and Kylo rushes into the room dropping his helmet to the floor scooping you into his arms hugging tighter than ever before his frame trembles around yours, placing both hands along your face instantly your lips are met with his. The kiss is hard and passionate, barely able to focus the feeling of his quivering lips skimming across your own his breath is hot and uneven "It's not our last chance...I refuse to believe it." Wrapping your arms around him tight, tears fall wetting both of your cheeks, pulling back with an uneven shaking thumb softly wiping them away "don't cry, we need to be strong...I need to be strong...I need you to be strong for me (y/n) Snoke can't sense my weakness when it comes to you that will only make things worse." Trying to stop, sucking in quick choking air "I'm sorry I'm trying...I know you're right I just..." failing miserably the soft cry turns into an uncontrolled sob, again his lips are on yours pressing roughly squeezing you in his arms mumbling along your mouth "shh calm down it's okay, please don't cry (y/n) I love you I can't handle seeing you like this." The two of you stand locked together kissing in various ways, soft, hard, passionate, lustful, and with longing before he pulls back again staring deeply into your eyes then suddenly tensing up, softly stroking his face "Kylo what is it, what's wrong?"

Taking a few steps back fear lines his face "(y/n) he's here." Panic rises within again "what? How do you know?!" Looking off into the dark room "I can sense it; I don't want to leave I swear... but I'm late already...giving off a bad impression to begin with...I'm sorry I have to go." With one last long kiss he whispers "I love you I'll be back, wait here for me and DON'T answer the door for anyone." watching him slip back through the doors noticing he forgot his helmet on the floor, walking slowly forwards picking it up holding it's cold shape in your hands quietly whispering into the poorly lit room "you better keep your promise and come back to me Kylo Ren you don't just get to win my heart and leave me with its broken pieces."