Serving the Commander

Stupidly compassionate

**I'm sorry for the delay in my fic, I've written enough this week to make up for last weeks, but I've combined what I would normally split into two different chapters, into one. I hope it makes up for the delay! as always thank you for sticking around and enjoying the fic its much appreciated! :)**

It's been six months since the inauguration and proposal and things have been going quiet smoothly between both you and Kylo within the base, usually the days are spent either planning for the wedding or with Kylo during the times he decides we should continue with the force training. So far you've gotten to handle his saber multiple times and have actually gotten quite good at controlling the weapon, there hasn't been any accidental drops or the near severing of anybody's limbs 'well except for the occasional time I get excited and turn towards Kylo to see his reaction and forget just how long the blade actually is, but still there hasn't been any blood shed! Only a few burned tunics, nothing that can't be replaced.'

Currently on your way to the training room Kylo had sent for you via droid explaining to dress comfortably, so doing just that you've decided to wear black tights with a looser fitting top something that has a few layers that could easily be taken off if you were to get too hot or something. Now finding a pair of shoes was a little more difficult because it seems heels are the leader's preference, so opting for simple slip on flats was the best option something that if needed could be kicked off for better balance and control. Skipping makeup 'what's the point I'll probably just sweat it off anyways, besides he's seem me bare faced multiple times.' as for hair simply throwing it up in a high pony seemed the easiest and best way to contain the mess of hair. Walking towards the training room thinking about all the things still left to do before the wedding, having decided together that sooner is better than later the date in only three weeks away. For the most part a lot of the decisions were easily agreed upon, such as where the wedding would take place 'of course I wouldn't want to get married anywhere other than the balcony Kylo had shown me, that place is special to him and beautiful I wouldn't have it any other way. Not to mention the general aesthetic of it will be highly biased off his drawing, he insisted that we didn't have to go off of his idea that it was only a vision but I promised the very second I saw the piece I was basically in tears it was so dark and romantically beautiful and he thought of it all! Why would not I want to wear the dress he had envisioned, although I did have to make him promise me, he wouldn't tear this one off.'

A few important things have happened within these past months, we finally found out who sent Carmen and it turns out she worked for a small sub division of the resistance and was sent here to try and get close with the commander, to pry her way into his life and gain his trust then when he least expected it she was to assassinate him. But she was not expecting to see that he had already found someone, and she never stood a chance when it came to attracting him, so she went with the next best thing which turned out to be exploiting you. Of course it took a while for Kylo to convince you that it wasn't your fault that he didn't see her trickery either and we both let our poorly controlled lust get the better of us, besides like he said "yes she deceived us, but she was going to do that anyways. Had you not been there who knows...I could have fallen for the wrong woman and it would have ultimately killed me." It was rather funny watching him immediately apologize and retract part of that sentence "wait no, not that I would have ever fallen for her..." the way his cheeks blushed as he shuffled paired with the involuntary brushing through his hair, the whole thing was incredibly adorable making it easy to forgive the statement.

Even though killing Carmen was something you didn't even have to think twice about somehow you've still woken up a few times in the middle of the night covered in sweat with the image of her dagger jabbing straight between her eyes, the forever imprinted vision of her clueless expression as she stood frozen for what feels like hours within the dream, just standing there staring back with blood trickling down her face as the whole room fades to emptiness, it's just her frozen in time haunting your sleep before collapsing to the ground. Every time she falls to the floor it jolts you awake and each time Kylo is right beside you always watching, sometimes he's stroking your face or calmly reminding that it's only a dream but he's always awake ready to comfort you from the nightmare. It's easy to take solace in knowing he's no stranger to the sleepless nights of horror, having suffered from them for many years and although he's easier at hiding them sometimes both of you wake up in a cold sweat and the only calming thing this is knowing your by one another's sides 'his nightmares are far greater than mine, I know he's suffered unimaginable betrayal and pain yet even when he's hurting his only focus is on me and if I'm okay.