Serving the Commander

Looking for guidance

Reluctantly forcing yourself to ignore all the natural feelings from within, instead speaking up again "no...I mean you don't have to hide...you can tell me how you really feel..." the kissing stops abruptly and he sighs harshly into your chest "ugh...(y/n) come on...I thought we were over that...on to...(softly caressing your breasts) better things..." scooting yourself back as far as possible so far where your ass nearly touches the shifter leaving his hand groping at the air and his lips kissing at the nothingness. Looking at him slowly rise his gaze to yours "quit trying to distract me I'm serious Kylo...it's just you and me, no one here to listen, to judge, to shame you...if there was ever a time to admit what's inside your heart it's now. When they're isn't a soul for miles just you, me, and the stars..." softly his fingertips dip behind the slouched sweater running on the necks edge smoothing it out from the curvature of your breasts so that you're not nearly exposed anymore, keeping his eyes in your direction they slowly divert to the darkness around you, staring off into the galaxy.

His hands slip past your thighs grabbing both gear shifts and for a moment they pause repeatedly gripping and releasing like he's battling an inner demon, quietly speaking not directly at you but rather to the abyss, to the stars, to whatever he feels like could be listening "to return home...would mean losing everything I've worked so hard to accomplish...would mean leaving was useless in the first place...would only prove that your chi...I ...am a failure. But to unleash the secrets that lie within my mind...to admit them to only my love and the darkness...is something I'm not sure I can do." suddenly his eyes dart directly to yours locking their honey color in place as his stern face gives way to glimpses of vulnerability, to fear, a childlike nervousness "I've longed for the day I could return to my home (y/n)...to start over...to see my mother...and my father..." letting those words slip from his mouth pulls strength from somewhere within you had never seen before, watching the small muscle below his eye twitch "some of those things I'll never be able to accomplish even if I wanted too..." a sadness washes over him while his gaze falls to the floor "if you think that a day doesn't go by when I'm not wishing I could speak to my mother you're wrong...I catch myself looking for her guidance all the time...everywhere...even now..." slowly reaching out your hand rests upon his thigh "what is she guiding you do to?"

The wounded stare returns towards you but again is looking completely past your figure, out into the galaxy he stares, the grip at which he holds on to the shifters tightens and suddenly the ship rocks sending your figure half way falling into the floor. Feeling the fighter moving through space you struggle to stand finding your way back into his lap this time facing out into the stars, sitting down one of his hands falls right back to your stomach whispering into your ear "you okay?" Nodding with a question "yes, but where are we going?" After noticing the ship has turned around, the snowy planet was not facing straight ahead anymore, Kylo does not answer right away instead the fighter soars through space towards an unknown destination. Then suddenly it sharply turns flying quickly in a long turning loop so that the now incredibly small planet you have called home for some time now, comes back into view, questioning instantly "wait what are we doing? Where are we going, I'm so confused I thought..." cutting you off Kylo speaks strictly "well you thought wrong. We both know joining the resistance is not an option and I let my weakness get the better of me...I let you... get the better of me. We're going home, where we belong...where I belong...and you belong to me so for the unforeseen future that's where you belong too."

The giddy feeling within your stomach fades knowing that you were so close to him to admitting his inner desires, reuniting him with his mother, and bringing out the truest happiness from within that only you can see, softly lying back against his chest pulling the cloak up around your waist clutching it by your neck nuzzling your head to the side against his shoulder "I love you Kylo Ren and if this is where you want to be then this is where we'll stay I guess...as long as I'm with you." Gently feeling his lips press into the back of your head he mumbles in your hair "this is where I want to be...for now at least...who knows maybe someday your kindness will completely rub off on me. As for now I think we should head back and prepare for the last night before our forever." The closer and closer the ship gets to the planet the more the base comes into view, showing all the various windows lining all of the quarters, the huge docking bay, the even bigger sun sucking weapon that Kylo's never fully explained but says is gravely important, all of these things don't seem like much to someone on the outside. But to you it's home, a place to finally say is yours, after never feeling at home anywhere Kylo has made this place more meaningful that ever intended, and after tomorrow it is just as much yours as it is his and the two of you will rule the dark side together.