Marthe Woertman Imagines

Panic Attack

Everyday during lunch period I quickly eat my food then go to the school library because it's the only place I could be alone. Being around people made me have anxiety and I constantly thought what if someone was judging me so I found the best place I knew no one could bother me and I could be alone. I was in one of the aisles no one really went to so I knew no one would find me. I did have one friend but she knew I liked my alone time to calm my thoughts so she didn't bother me during the lunch period. I kept to myself a lot so no one knew much about me, as far as I know I'm an outcast and no one notices my existence much but still thought people were judging me whenever I was in a crowded place. I was on my phone listening to music when I had the idea to do what I usually did only at home scared of anyone looking over my shoulder. But today I could care less. I clicked on the Tiktok app and decided to watch the only person I constantly thought of @marthwubbles. I was lost staring at my phone and blushing when I scrolled through them all. I forgot where I was for a few minutes just staring dreamily at her. "Whatcha lookin at?" I heard my friend's voice say from over my shoulder. I instantly jump turning off my phone as a reflex. "Omg was that Marthe?" My friend added. I looked over at her horrified that I got caught. I shushed her to keep quiet not because we were in a library but I didn't know who was nearby that could hear. She wasn't exactly being very quiet. I felt so much fear I could barley move. And to make things even worse I heard a familiar voice say from around the corner say "I heard my name?" At that I swear I almost faint. My anxiety was on an all time high overthinking 'Fuck fuck fuck what am I gonna do?!' I wanted to run and never look back scared out of my mind but I was frozen I couldn't move. I started to sweat and started hyperventilating. I started to get dizzy so I squatted down my hands on the floor hoping the room would stop spinning. I've never had a panic Attack this bad ever in my life. I felt stupid but I couldn't stop it from happening. Marthe then panically asks "Oh shit is she ok?" But it sounded as if she was underwater, it sounded muffled. My friend looked over to me seeing Marthe's face turn scared, she then froze not seeing me in such a bad state before. Marthe looked over at my friend who was frozen not knowing what to do to help me. I then feel a hand on my shoulder shaking me a bit trying to get my attention and I could barley feel it lost in my head. I then feel someone tightly embrace me and say repeatedly "Hey your ok, your going to be ok. Breathe ok?" I could barley tell who it was but their perfume seemed to calm me down and the tight embrace made me feel safe and stopped the room from spinning. Eventually I caught my breath and calmed down. I slowly open my eyes to find myself in Marthe's arms, my heart beat quickens never imagining myself to ever be in her arms. "I'm sorry." I manage to say finding my voice looking down in shame. "Hey don't worry about it ok? Your ok, you're going to be ok." Marthe said reassuringly. Usually when people said that to me I would laugh and say sure in a bitter way but this time the way she said it for some reason my heart fluttered with hope. And for once in a very long time I smiled, a real smile and said "Thank you." I then put my hands around her and pull her in for a hug not thinking at all before doing it. At first she didn't move stunned and when I was about to pull away she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me back. I started crying again but this time they were tears of joy realising I had forgotten how comforting hugs felt. Marthe tried to pull away to ask what was wring but I just held on tighter not wanting it to end. She hugged me back just as tight or even tighter if that was possible understanding that I needed this. "Um I hate to ruin this beautiful moment but the bell is going off in like five minutes." My friend says, I look over with a small apologetic smile that showed her I totally forgot she was there. But she didn't take offence because she saw it all and could understand. I was so grateful for her, no matter how much I pushed her away she never left. I pull away from my Long hug with Marthe with my cheeks still pink and a little more life in my eyes. We both got up from the floor. "Shall we get to class?" Marthe says grabbing my hand. She stands there waiting for my answer while holding my hand. I blush looking at our hands then looking over at my friend who was looking at me with 🤩 this face and both thumbs up encouragingly I then look back at Marthe and nodded shyly. We then hand in hand walk to class with my friend behind us smiling happy for me and secretly taking pictures of us. I saw people staring and whispering pointing at Marthe and I in the hallways on the way to class but then also see them look at Marthe then scurry away cowardly. I frown not knowing why then look up at Marthe and she was glaring at anyone who were pointing and whispering. I giggled then squeezed Marthe's hand. She looked down at me and her scowl instantly turned into a smile. I felt my anxiety and nerves melt away when she smiled at me. When we got to class she kisses my head then we both go to our assigned seats. And for once my head was held up high and I felt carefree.