Marthe Woertman Imagines

Conflicted

A friend of mine and I are at a cafe we meet at every few weeks to catch up with each other. I wouldn't call her a very close friend mainly because of the fact that sometimes she can be unpredictable. And when I mean unpredictable I mean she can one second be the most supportive person ever and the next she's pushing me to do something I don't want to do. And today is one of those days. The cafe that we come to has a karaoke night every so often and today was one of those nights. Someone had just finished a song when my friend stands up abruptly and walks right up on stage and just when I think she's about to spontaneously decide she wants to sing a song she says pointing right at me "My friend over there has a beautiful voice and I don't think she shares it with as many people as she should. She's gonna sing a song for you tonight!" Instantly my brain was on panic mode I shook my head violently at her but instead of backing down like I wish she had she came to me and pulled me up onto the stage and sat me on the chair on stage. My hands were shaking and I was so close to having a full blown panic attack. To keep myself from humiliating myself I closed my eyes and sang. It started off shaky but eventually my voice got stronger. Sure I was terrified but I pushed though till the end of course with my eyes closed the whole time afraid that if I opened my eyes that my voice would get caught in my throat. When I was done I forced myself to open my eyes to see everyone looking but silent. Right when I was about to run off the stage everyone started clapping. I was grateful but my mind was still stuck on my thoughts before. My friend then came over to me and hugged me saying how well I did and how I sounded amazing but instead of smiling and hugging her back I pulled her to a quiet corner. "I'm sorry if this comes out seeming ungrateful cause I am but at the same time you can't just do that to someone. You know I have stage fright, you know I could have had a panic attack right? That's not an ok thing to do!" I blurt out all my thoughts and everything I felt. "Hey but you sounded great and besides if I didn't do that you would have never put yourself out there." She says as if the way I felt didn't mean anything. "That doesn't mean what you did was an ok thing to do. I could humiliated myself and had a full blown panic attack up there." I say firmly trying to get my point across. "But you didn't have one though." She says ignoring everything else I said. Dumbfounded by how she's acting right now I say "I..I'm sorry but I think I need a few days to think of what to do next. I don't think I should be making any rash decisions while my mind is clouded." I say more to myself knowing I had ending our friendship now on my mind but I was also afraid I could regret it. "Urgh whatever." She says and walks off and out of the cafe. I let out a heavy sigh and walk off to the washroom. I felt overwhelmed with all my feelings that just couldn't leave me alone from before I sang. It's like my brain blocked out all the good that came out of that situation and just made me think of all the bad. I was lost in thought about to have a full blown panic attack when I heard a knock on the bathroom door which snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hey are you ok?" A female's voice says. "I'm not sure." I answer truthfully feeling more comfortable behind the door. "Well I think you sounded amazing." She says with adoration her tone. "Thank you." I say with a slight blush even though I have no idea who this person is. "Hey um I was thinking if I could buy you a drink and we could chat?" She asks sounding shyer than before. "Um yea sure." I say not expecting to get asked out at all. I quickly wash up and open the door to see a drop dead gorgeous tall woman with the most comforting smile.