Transformation: Becoming Ben Solo (A Reylo Fanfic)

Chapter 12 - Just Breathe

A/N - Things are really starting to heat up!!

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As she got out of bed that morning, Rey wasn't sure if she was more angry at herself or him.  She wasn't entirely sure what had happened, but she knew that she had dreamed of him, and that the bond had connected them, with her ending up in his bed on the Finalizer.

In her dream, he did things to her that made her blush.  They were intimate.  And it felt good. Really good.  But more than that, it had felt right.  She headed to the 'fresher and thought about it some more.  When she landed in his bed, did he take advantage of her?  Touch her when she wasn't awake?  She didn't think so, but she really didn't know.....

She did recall the feeling of being wrapped around him when she woke up.  So unless he was able to do that while she was asleep, it meant that she wrapped herself around him.  And if she was dreaming of being intimate with him, is it possible that she was the one who was touching him?  She suddenly went very still.  What if she was touching him and he didn't want her to?  She did after all wake up to his shout.  Maybe he was trying to get her to stop?

She was mortified at the thought.   Gods, how could she ever face him again?  She put her face in her hands and cried.

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He had had yet another long and grueling day.  It seemed like everyone had wanted a piece of him.  He sat through an endless number of meetings and briefings – trying to listen carefully, and make rational decisions.  Many of his Generals – except for Hux of course – were slowly getting used to the fact that he was not Snoke, and didn't rule the same way that he did.

After Snoke's death, when he first became the Supreme Leader, Kylo was still quick to anger, and acted more like the ultimate Dictator.  His wishes were to be obeyed in all circumstances, without question.  One day, he had overheard one of the lower staff whisper to another  "he puts the dick into dictator".  They had both laughed and continued walking down the corridor.   It took everything he had not to chase them down and run them both through with his saber.  But that's what got him thinking that maybe the First Order could be something different, and that he didn't really need to be a Dictator.

Slowly, many of his Generals – once again, with the exception of Hux – seemed to be coming around to his new way of thinking.  He now listened to their ideas, and often sought their opinions during meetings and briefings.  He still listened more than he spoke, and when a final decision had to be made, he was the one who made it, and made it decisively.  The First Order was still an authoritarian organization after all.  But progress was being made.  And for the first time in a long time of his shitty life, he began to feel a bit more human.  He was the leader of the major ruling force trying to bring order to the galaxy, make some positive change in other people's shitty lives, and he had Rey.  Well, he kind of had Rey.

As he dismissed the staff from his last meeting of the day, he took a deep breath and got ready to head to his quarters.  He still wasn't sure if he was going to try to visit Rey tonight.  She might need a bit more time.  Throughout the day, his thoughts kept straying to her and their encounter – and he had to keep pushing them away, else he would've ended up distracted and would've likely had a raging hard-on while sitting in his meetings.  Dangerous thoughts to be having when he was still so far away from his quarters.

He had almost made his escape when Hux stopped him on his way out of the room.

"Ren, can I speak to you for a moment?"  Kylo's annoyance spiked at this obviously intentional slight.

His voice was surprisingly calm, but resigned when he responded. "General Hux. Its been many months now.  You will address me as Supreme Leader or you will not address me at all. Understood?"