Transformation: Becoming Ben Solo (A Reylo Fanfic)

Chapter 39 - Departure (M)

A/N - Hello there my Lovelies!  All I can say is WOW!  I am amazed that the story has 2.5K in reads.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have been reading.  I am humbled by the response and kind words in your comments.   I've rated this chapter M for mature as there is a bit of mature content, but I wouldn't class it as "explicit" (but maybe I'm just becoming immune LOL).  I hope you enjoy where this story is going - I have a few more surprises to come so stay tuned!  As always, please don't forget to vote and I love comments!!  Thank you so much!

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Rey opened her eyes and stretched, feeling her muscles protest.  She felt sore, and her body complained, feeling a bit abused, but in a good way.  Smiling, she remembered everything that had happened last night, both before and after they returned to 'their' quarters.  Both were feeling a little emotional and bit adventurous – ravenous for each other - and had tried some new things in bed.  At one point, Ben completely lost control, and was almost mindless in his passion as their lovemaking had escalated into something almost primal, and he had thrust into her so hard it was almost on the edge of becoming painful.  So hard that she was pushed up the bed, moving forward with every thrust.  But it hadn't hurt.  To her, it had felt consuming – the pleasure almost all encompassing – bringing them both to an intense climax.

She should have expected it – after her confessions to him and their pledge to one another, he had not been fully in control of his emotions last night – and that was usually when shades of Kylo Ren appeared.  As she had told him before, she loved all of him, even his darkness – which sometimes excited her.  Last night was definitely one of those times, she thought, on a smile.

Rolling over, she noticed that Ben wasn't beside her.  Reaching out, she could feel him in the shower, but his end of the bond was tightly closed.   She sighed.  He was probably feeling a bit insecure again – likely because of the borderline rough lovemaking.  She smiled to herself once again.  Since she'd be temporarily returning to the Resistance Base later today, she didn't want him to have any lingering doubts or uncertainties about their relationship.  She'd just have to go convince him that he hadn't done anything wrong...

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Kylo let the hot water pour over his head as he stood in the shower, leaning on the wall with his hands pressed in front of him and his head hanging down.  He wanted to pound – to punch – something, anything – but was trying to stay calm so that Rey wouldn't see him come undone.   He'd closed his end of the bond too so she wouldn't feel his emotions – his remorse over what he'd done once again, despite promising her that he wouldn't.

He was like an animal the last time they'd made love.  They had tried something new to them.  It had started out normally, and she'd seemed to be enjoying it – they both were, very much – with her on her hands and knees, and him behind her, his hands gripping her hips.  He'd felt – powerful.   Dominant.  Then she'd moaned something, whispered something – maybe a plea for him to go harder, and it was like something inside of him had snapped.  He'd had literally no control, and had thrust so hard, she was pushed upward on the bed.  Her cries when she had reached her peak had been louder than she'd ever made.   And although she seemed to have enjoyed it, he was sure he'd hurt her.  He'd been almost insane with lust – even more so than the other time he'd lost it on Lothal.  If he looked, he'd probably even find deep bite marks on her shoulder and neck.

They were both completely spent afterwards, and she had fallen right asleep once her breathing had calmed.  But he had stayed awake most of the night, watching her - worrying about her, hoping she was all right.  And the more he thought about it, the deeper he fell into despair over his treatment of her.  She was so precious to him.  Their passion was amazing, but she didn't deserve to be abused while they were supposed to be making love!  He shuddered out another breath and clenched his fist against the wall.