Transformation: Becoming Ben Solo (A Reylo Fanfic)

Chapter 37 - Relief (M+E)

A/N - Good Day my Lovelies!  Sorry its been a few days since my last update.  I've been trying to stay ahead of myself in this story, and so was working on getting some of the later chapters written.   This one's another MATURE chapter.  As always, I will try to put in some warning so those who don't want to read the smutty stuff can by-pass it.  I hope you enjoy!  Please vote and comment!  Honestly, your reactions and comments make my day - and your suggestions are always appreciated.

____****____

Kylo took his first deep breath since that filthy pilot had first set foot on his ship.  He had tried to steal Rey back!  But Rey had let him know that the pilot had left once again, and relief had flooded through his veins.

Although Rey had told him that she wouldn't be leaving with Dameron, he hadn't been completely sure that the pilot wouldn't trick her into it somehow.   It was all too much to keep bottled inside.  His mind kept straying and he couldn't concentrate, so he decided to cut his day short – instructing his aide to reschedule his last meeting for another day.

Making his way back to his quarters, he could feel his anticipation building.  She was waiting for him.  It caused his heart to beat erratically as he thought of being able to wrap his arms around her and breathe her in as she welcomed him home after these two hellish days.   Her presence and touch always calmed him, and made him feel complete.  He looked forward to simply spending a quiet evening with her – having a nice meal, and just relaxing, preferably in each other's arms.

He stopped for a moment.   She was likely tired and still hurting after her experience yesterday – and today for that matter – so it probably wouldn't be a good idea to make love.  He started walking again, and ran a hand through his hair.   After his scare yesterday – and today's fiasco with the pilot, his emotions were still running high, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep his hands off of her.  But he had to try, for her sake.

When he walked into his quarters, he was surprised to find the lights dimmed.  She was sleeping.   Of course she was – the ordeal with the stupid pilot probably wore her out.  She hadn't been ready to be up and around after her injury.  Yet one more reason to hate the swaggering bastard!

Quietly, so as not to disturb her, he made his way to the closet and stripped out of his clothes.   Grabbing a pair of sleep pants, he made his way to the fresher for a quick shower.

When he emerged a few minutes later, he literally tip-toed over to the bed.  She was still sleeping.  He could see her beautiful face in the dim light, and could hear her steady and rhythmic breathing.  His own breathing became unsteady, and a lump formed in his throat as he continued to watch her.  She really was his everything.  He had already known that, but it hadn't really hit him fully until he had almost lost her.  If anything ever happened to her, it would surely send him over the edge, and he'd never find his way back.

He desperately wanted to touch her – even just to stroke her cheek – to soothe his tremulous emotions, but he feared waking her.  She was tired – he could sense it in her Force signature, which still felt a bit off.  So instead, he closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled slowly and deeply several times to clear the aching feeling in his chest.  Turning, he quietly walked over to his holopad to order their dinner, and to pour himself a drink.  Tonight, he felt like he needed one.

By the time he was done, he could hear Rey starting to stir, and not long after she quietly called out to him.  "Ben?"

"I'm here."  He told her as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

She seemed confused.  "Why aren't the lights on?"

"You must have dimmed them when you lay down."  He said as he called for the controller to bring the lights up.