The Outsiders Imagines & One Shots & Preferences

okay // D.C.

When you're in a relationship with someone as long as I had been with Darry, you notice things.

Even when they don't tell you, you can tell when they're sad; when they're happy; when they're heartbroken. But, when they're sad, how come they won't tell you? You ask, "it's nothing," "I'm fine," lies as responses...

You know, or at least think, you could try to make them feel better, if they would just open up that part of them and let you in. Allow you to see them in one of the most vulnerable states possible. You were together, how come they didn't want to show you?

Were they embarrassed? Scared, worried? Or was it your fault, and they didn't want to talk about it because they believed it would only worsen the problem?

And you. You can't help but feel so useless... so defeated. Because they won't let you in. What was so wrong in their heart that they couldn't share it with someone who was meant to be there for everything? The ups and downs, the highs and lows.

I was there when everything happened.

When Darry first joined the Football team; I congratulated him with a hug and cheer.

When he won his first game; I was there to kiss his cheek and celebrate with the team.

When he lost for the first time; I was there to tell him they'd get them the following year, and they did.

When he was told by the principal to get his ass in gear, or he would be on academic parole and couldn't play ball, I helped him everyday until he had an A.

When Darry won the all state game, his senior year. I felt like I had the loudest voice in the stands when I screamed out, proudly.

When he had been given a full ride scholarship to a school he really wanted to go to.

I was there when the police came to the house and told us about his parents.

I was there for him and his brothers every day; I cooked, I cleaned, I helped with homework, and I was still there when Darry had to give up his dream and drop out of school to take care of his brothers because they had to pay the bills.

But here we were. Sitting at Dallas and Johnny's shared funeral. Darry had a tight grip of my hand, and his chest rose and fell as he took in short, deep breaths as he watched the caskets lower. My other hand on Ponyboy's shoulder as he sat in a chair in front of me.

It had been about two weeks since the boys died, and everything changed; but it also stayed the same. It was quiet, but it was all too loud for silence. There was a lack of cigarette butts piling up in the ashtray's. Dallas' pile on the porch also had been left in it's place, but never getting any taller.

When we got home, Ponyboy went to his room while Darry pulled his coat off and moved to set in his chair. Sodapop and Steve claimed they were going out for a bit before Soda changed and they left. Two-Bit going to spend time with Kathy, since she had shown up to be there for him.

I grabbed Darry and myself a coke before coming back, and as he took his, he gave me a smile, smile and grabbed ahold of my hand to pull my closer to the chair, indicating he wanted me to set with him, so I did. I leaned my side against his front, my legs kicked over the arm of the couch with his arm in my lap and other around my back, rubbing gently. One of my own around his shoulders, and the other on top of his free hand, dragging the tips over the top of his hand.

He rested his head against my shoulder, breathing against my neck as I ducked my head to rest on his own.

Just like it had been as of lately, the silence was absolutely deafening. My eyes rested on Johnny's usually seat of the couch, seeing the blanket I had constantly laid over him when he'd stay over because it was too cold out.

It hadn't been long, before the gang was home and Darry decided to make dinner. I had changed out of the dress, and into a pair of shorts and one of my old high school tops. Mickey was on, and the boys seemed invested; or at least pretended to be considering it was too silent, even for the boys watching a show.

I grabbed Two's empty beer bottle and made my way to the kitchen, setting it in the trash as I watched Darry at the stove, stirring something. I sighed, moving to jump up on the counter. The noise caused him to turn to me, smiling as he walked over, placing a kiss on my head before moving to the fridge, and back to the stove top.

I watched for a few moments, trying to find the right words to use, but I couldn't.

"How do you do that?" I asked, causing him to turn with furrowed brows, holding up the pot of mashed potatoes, "Do what? Make them?" I shake my head, reaching my hand out for him to grab. He placed it down on a potholder and moved to me, placing his hands on either sides of my legs, and looked down at me, "do what then, baby?" "How do you pretend you're okay?" I ask, and he stares at me for a moment.

Darry shakes his head with a small smile, "I ain't pretendin' anythin'" he states before standing up straight, and going to move, instead I grab his arm and pull him back. "Yes, you are, Darry; and it breaks my heart" I admit, my voice cracking at the end. He takes a moment before moving his hands to my sides, pulling me to the edge of the counter.

"(y/n). I have to be okay. I have my brothers to take care of, and you too. I don't have the time to not be alright" I shake my head, "Don't, don't do that. And it's okay to not be alright. Mostly not right now, it's normal to be upset, to need time. You didn't get to do it when your parents died, Darry, but you need to do it now. If you don't, and you bottle all these feelings up, I'm scared what'll happen. You're right, you hafta take care of the boys, but what are they gonna do if you go too? I can take care of them, but I won't be able to, knowing that I- we- could have done something to keep you here with us" I admit. My hands had moved to hold his own sides, gripping tightly at the black fitted shirt.

He stares at my for a moment, absorbing the words and letting them sink in. "We can't lose you too, Darry" I whisper, and he releases a breath before moving his arms around my back, holding me tightly to him. "You ain't gonna, I promise baby. Fine, I'll take a day, I'll... do what I need. Just know, I'm not goin' anywhere" he whispers to me, and I nod while holding him tightly, burying my head in his neck with a mumble of love.

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In my head this was a short one, and I was debating putting up a second quick lil thing for yall but then the word count came up and damn, never mind lol.