Broken Pieces (Naruto and Boruto Reader Insert)

Chapter 70

You needed to keep them safe, so with Momoshiki at your side, the two of you made a small fire outside and sat on some rocks as you kept watch. However, a few hours later Sarada joined you, then Shinki, Boruto and then the rest. The adrenaline rush was there and wouldn't let them sleep just yet. 

"May I ask you a much more personal question?" Out of the blue, Sarada asked.

Not sure what else she would want from you, you nodded. "Of course, what is it?"

She seemed to still be devastating her question, and even more so since the others were there. " Why...Why did decide to take that journey in your own? Your friends would have helped you." 

Maybe she already knew and maybe she wanted to hear it from you. "You probably already know," the fire flickered making you relax despite the question. " I could have, but at that time when I first disappeared, I was for certain I would die."Hopefully they knew that, "After I survived, I contemplated on returning but there were people after me and I didn't want to put anyone throught that trouble. That's why I didn't return, I didn't plan on returning at all."

"Did you feel lonely?" She continued to ask, probably imagining what kind of life it was. Since you arrived to the village, she was too young and so filled with hatred that she didn't bother to ask or to even get to know you. That was why she wanted to take advantage of the time she had now. 

Lonely? You didn't want to even think about it let alone talk about it. But they didn't know you that well, and although you talked about your life, you didn't go into detail about your emotions. "I did, I wasn't used to being alone. Most of the time I was with someone, so yes, I felt lonely."

But judging by your hesitation, that loneliness was probably linked with depression. "How...How do you do it? How did you do it, it wasn't just loneliness, was it? And yet, even when I'm looking at you right now, you're...You look so confident and just so sure of yourself." 

"It wasn't," finally you admitted, "I suffered with depression for years and I even contemplated killing myself. Like I said, I was used to having people around me. At first it wasn't so bad because my mind was occupied trying to hide, but once I lost them, that was when it truly hit me. It wasn't easy, but just, the hope that maybe one day I could live normally gave me courage." You hadn't talked about this with many, and looking at their young faces, it urged to to go on. They could learn from what you had to say. "Living like me," you motioned to your whole body, "is not something I want for the rest of my life. I don't hate myself, and I definitely do not regret having it. I was able to help people with it, but a huge responsibility lies with it."

Life, it wasn't right to play with life and death. "Bringing people back to life isn't that great is it?" Shikamaru glued his gaze to yours, not intimidated by your intense one. 

He understood what he was saying, "yes. It...Sometimes people are just meant to die and we can not just bring them back to life because we can't deal being alone. It's selfish of us..." And yet, if you could still do something, you would. "But I know for sure that as long as I have this... Ability, I just won't be able to say no if anyone asked me to. I really hope that one day Kabuto and Orochumaru could find a cure."

Which was prompted Mitsuki to ask his next question, which wasn't that surprising considering that Orochimaru was his father. "What made you forgive Kabuto and my father? Specially with all they did to you?"

They must have been curious, because when Mitsuki asked, they all leaned forward just a bit as you parted hour lips to speak. "Kabuto redeemed himself, he saved my life so many times. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here." Then you laughed, "it's rather amusing that long ago I was willing to do anything to stay alive and yet, now I just want to get rid of it. As for your father, I used to hate him and when I first saw him at the village, I wanted to kill him. But he was there for a a reason, which turned out to be that he had been forgiven. He helped the village, and he seems like he changed. I suppose that is why. Everyone deserves a second chance, we just need to give to them."

Shinki was silent, though it looked as if he wanted to ask something. To encourage him, you gave him a small nod. “What about the Akatsuki? Do they deserve to live?"

You weren't sure if there was distaste there or not, but it was a good question. "At the time, we didn't have many options. But listen," this time you pursed your lips as you remembered the time you spent with them. "They're not so bad," you began, "I'm not sure how well versed you all are with their history but, most of them just wanted peace. People grow up in different circumstances, and sometimes it shapes us all. It's easy to judge, because we don't know what they've all be through. Anyway, it's really not up to me to say that. They're alive and so far, they all have been very cooperative in trying to end this war. But, time will tell and I just hope that they take advantage of this new opportunity, and try to find their own happiness." 

Then, the dreaded question came, one that you hoped no one else would ask but it seemed as Inojin who just threw it. "Have you made a choice then? Of who you will end up with, considering you have so many options to choose from." 

Options, you had so many options. Did he really just ask that? You frowned though Sarada quickly jumped in, "You can't just ask that, don't mind him. And you don't have to answer it."

"They're not options," your frowned deepened, your gaze licked on the fire once more, "they're people with feelings and it's not as simply as you make it out to be." Rubbing your face in exasperation and sadness, you continued. "I just can't give myself the luxury of..." You swallowed, " of accepting someone right now. The war wouldn't allow it anyway and I'm completely honest, I'm dreading it. Sometimes it makes me think of just..."

"Please don't," Konohamaru, "please don't leave." The last part was softer, almost sounded as a whisper. "I understand heartbreak will take part and it is what is making you hesitate, don't. Allow yourself to be happy with whomever you choose," Konohamaru stood up as his gaze wouldn't meet yours. "As long as you're happy, I'll be happy." It took you a moment to realize that he didn't say, they would be happy, but that he would be happy. Konohamaru didn't wait for your response, he just turned around and went inside the house. 

"Do you have any age preference? Considering some of them don't look as young as you do." Again, Inojin asked, why was he just so...Shutting your eyes, you shook your head. "It's not, and just so you know, I'm actually older than some of them I just look young." Letting a long exhale out, you opened your eyes, "alright, it's late so all of you go inside and get some rest."

"What about you?" Shinki and Boruto asked in unison. 

"Momoshiki will be here with me, and I can live without sleep for days. Now go." You began to push them one by one, and once they were gone, you were left to be bombarded by thoughts. 

But it was true, when all of this was over and you were ready to accept someone as your romantic companion...There would be a lot left with broken hearts, how could you live with that?