Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 85: I don't think I can stop loving you.

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(8-299 AV) Five years. Seriously. I didn't think I'd make it this long without her, but here I am.

Roselyn and I have been together for a while now. It's serious between us, but I'm still living in a permanent state of guilt. I'm never going to stop loving Cory. Now Roselyn's dropping hints about getting married and it hurts. I didn't see myself getting married until I met Cory. I don't know if I could do it now. I'd have to know she was dead first. Even then, I still don't think I could do it. I know now if I confirmed she was dead, I'd never actually move on.

Roselyn has asked me about her, what she was like. I think she just wants me to open up and talk. She's way too interested for it to be genuine. Maybe it's from the occasional comment she gets about reminding people of Cory. I hate hearing people say that, because I don't want them thinking I'm crazy and just dating Roselyn to believe she's Cory. It's kinda like that but not entirely. I'm well aware Roselyn isn't her. She just reminds me of her.

I can't marry her. It would be wrong. I don't love Roselyn for who she is, but I'm afraid to end things and hurt her. She seems happy with me.

- Shane Walsh
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"You're good to go."

I glanced down at my wrapped-up arm, then back up at Alana. "That's it?"

"Go on home. Rest up." She nodded, gesturing to the door. "That means taking a day or two off, Cory."

I squinted at her, unable to believe she actually suggested I take a break at the moment. The rest of the town had spent the past day and all of this morning cleaning up the mess the Whisperers had left. I hadn't done much to help because Alana had told me yesterday, when we first got home, that doing any heavy-lifting could really hurt my wound. I went with it yesterday, but I couldn't accept it now. It was far too crazy around here for me to just go home and sit around.

"I can't do that. I'm their leader-"

"They don't need your directions about rebuilding a wall. Clark's out there to help," she assured. It did take a heavy weight off my chest to remember Clark had worked in construction before all of this. I didn't necessarily need to supervise, but it wasn't really about that. I hated sitting back and not helping. "Go home and heal. You need it, anyway. You need a break after the stuff you've been through."

I couldn't deny that. I was still fatigued. I was still out of it in some ways. I had a million things on my mind and while helping rebuild would distract me from those things, it was only putting it off for another day.

I eventually agreed to her terms and left. I walked out of the busted infirmary, out into the street where people were already busy getting to work. I saw Carol and Daryl leave early in the morning, and I wasn't sure where they had gone but I decided not to get into it with Daryl again. After the conversation we had in the crate the other night, right after Maggie had told me she'd deal with Negan, there was a wall between us again. It wasn't as thick as usual. We were still being far more honest with each other than we had been in a while. That didn't necessarily make things easier. No, it practically did the opposite.

"Where you headed?" I heard someone ask from nearby. I turned my head and found Maggie walking down the road, straight toward me. I gave her a plain smile.

"Home. Doctor's orders," I told her. She raised up her forearm, presenting her wrapped wound to me. She seemed in a lot better shape now, and I was glad to see it.