Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 74: I'm not a saint.

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(DAY 176) I decided not to say anything about the biters in the house to Phillip, but I also decided that I am for sure getting the hell out of here first chance I get. I've been gradually putting some of my clothes into my duffel bag the past few days and rounding up all my stuff. I thought over the idea of leaving a good bit, and I know I'll miss everyone a lot, but I don't feel safe with Phillip anymore.

God, our journey is fucking crazy. He and Martinez found me on the road and Phillip and I had dinner the first night I was at Woodbury, though he claimed he had invited a bunch of others as well. Then Martinez suggested that Phillip liked me, and we ended up on an actual date, and within a month I fell in love with him. After time passed, we got engaged, I got pregnant, then lost the baby. And now, just since then, we both changed as people. He literally has the heads of geeks in tanks in a locked room and a closet with two 'living' biters in it. He claimed he wanted me safe, so much that I moved in with him, yet he had a biter of his own in the same fucking house. That's insane.

I want to talk to Titus about leaving. I don't think I even trust Martinez with stuff anymore, and I know I can't trust Karen. This whole thing was a bust. I almost wish they wouldn't have found me. I know damn well that I would've had a better chance of finding Merle and Daryl if I wouldn't have been here the whole time.

God... Merle and Daryl. I've barely thought about them since the miscarriage happened. I wish I could go back to the shitty time when I'd cry because I missed them and not because the man I was in love with had turned fucking crazy.

I just... I can't think right now. I can't think at all anymore.

Signing out,
Corynn Elaine August (Jenner)
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I sat knelt on the floor, leaned forward as I stuck a handful of files back into the drawer, each organized by the last name into a divided section of the drawer labeled by the letters of the last names it contained. They had sent me to search the offices on the floor above us, mainly to check for any files considered useful.

I was supposed to look for anything involving people we knew, files labeled with familiar names, as well as any information that could be linked to the walkers and the virus that caused them. So far, this office had only contained files from 1999 and 2000, so of course, I didn't find anything useful. Well, nothing anyone else needed to see.

I glanced toward the desk next to me, looking once again at the one file I had set aside. I had only pulled it out because I recognized the name on it. It was my own, and I had a suspicious feeling about what was inside. I didn't remember a hospital visit to Grady Memorial Hospital, and the date on the other files matched up with the time of my suicide attempt.

I was scared to open that file, though. It had been nine years since Michelle told me what happened and even now, I wasn't sure she had been completely honest with me. I was waiting to learn that what she told me after the war ended wasn't the truth, that there was way more to it than a few details she left out. I was scared to learn what actually went down and how messed up I had really been afterward.

I force the thought out of my mind for a moment, remembering what I was doing this for. I promised the people at the hospital I'd finish up a few things for them before we left. We were going to be gone soon and though we had done a lot to help them out, I felt I could never repay them for saving my child's life. Siddiq had been right that Eddie was seriously sick. He had some type of pancreatic cancer, and it took seven and a half years for everyone to feel confident that he had recovered, confident enough to let us travel the whole way back to Virginia.