Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 31: There's no other way.

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DAY 635) I've been in the isolation block since the morning of Day 633, though I didn't write an entry that day to say so. It's been two days, and this will be the third. I don't really have much to do in here other than write entries, read old ones, and read the book Rick brought me late afternoon on Day 633. I've also practiced on my guitar, but even that gets boring after a little while. I'm bored as hell, but I do have plenty of food so it's mostly been a cycle of eating and sleeping.

I'm gonna look through my other journal and read some old entries. Maybe time will go faster if I spend some of it looking at how fast the time has gone before. I also might leave and creep around to check on everyone. Rick hasn't come to check on me since he brought me the book, which means it's been over 36-ish hours since I've seen anyone.

I wonder if they miss me. I'm sure at least Daryl and Merle noticed I'm gone. And Carl. Carl and I still talk a lot, even though I haven't said much about him in my entries recently. That's just my own fault for being so distracted about this pregnancy thing. To be honest, I'm surprised he didn't notice something was wrong when I got back from the run that night. He always noticed when something was wrong with me before and always talked to me about it.

Well, that was different. I don't want to get into that again.

Signing out,
Cory Jenner
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Setting my journal aside, I shook myself out of those thoughts and looked around. I hated being alone, especially in a bare-walled room in an empty cellblock detached from the rest of my friends. I missed them, and at this point, I missed them like they were dead. I had no way of knowing who was alive and who wasn't. Honestly, I was afraid to hear back from Rick anytime soon, but I had to know.

I really didn't have much to do anymore. I didn't have much to do ever, but especially recently. I had gotten used to playing the guitar again and tried teaching myself to play a new song, but I didn't get very far because I just got bored with it. Rick had brought me Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen, which I hadn't started reading yet but would probably resort to soon. I never really liked reading. I was always more of a writing person myself, which showed with the two journals I had full of entries dating back to February of 2010. I had calculated it recently, too, that if I went by my day count, we should've been in late November of 2011 now. The idea of us being trapped in this hell of death and misery for nearly two years was horrifying.

There was some sort of worry in the back of my mind that Rick forgot about me. I knew in my heart that there was no way he'd forget, yet the anxiety in my brain was convinced that he had completely misplaced his memory of me and I was going to be stuck alone for weeks, wondering if it was safe to leave my private cellblock and see my friends again. I was scared that he hadn't forgotten, that he had gotten sick himself and could no longer come to see me, either from death or fear of passing the illness to me. No matter what the situation, I didn't want to spend any more time alone than I needed to.

I pulled out a string of stale licorice from the bag sitting on my table, shoving it into my mouth as I picked up my old journal, the one with entries from Day 001 to Day 449, which also included an entry on the very last page from a certain friend that had died both in life and in my mind. I flipped to a random page as I decided I didn't want to read every single entry today. The one I landed on nearly brought me to tears.

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(DAY 194) I'm still at the CDC, and it's been at least a week now that I've been here, longer since I left Woodbury. Phillip probably has a team out looking for me, so I've been trying to break into the CDC, you know, since it's tightly locked up and they'd never be able to find me there. Of course, because of that, I myself cannot find a way in. The past week's been a vicious cycle of screaming at the cameras and doors to unlock then giving up and going back to this truck to hide from the geeks I attracted.