Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 88: I'd be an idiot to try and resist you.

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(12-238 AV --- 4,618 AV) It's been a really, really long time since I wrote in my journal. Shane took over for me for a few years, but yeah, I left Alexandria. Shane sort of explained in the first few entries, but Eddie was sick. He had pancreatic cancer, and I'm grateful every day that we caught it early. It made treatments way more likely to work, and though it was years before he was cleared, Dr. Edwards eventually decided he had no concerns about the cancer coming back. I still panic every time he sneezes or gets a fever that it's going to happen all over again, but he's okay.

Conner isn't okay. The day we returned to Virginia happened to be the same day the Kingdom was throwing a fair. It was perfect because we got to reunite with everyone at once in the same place, but it ultimately ended in a bad way. For one, I was asked to take over as Alexandria's leader, and I learned of the most recent threat, a group called the Whisperers. They attacked us that night while we were heading to Hilltop. They set a border and lined it with the head of our friends and families on spikes. Among them was Tara, Enid, Henry, and Conner.

And then there's Negan. A bad storm hit the area a bit ago and we had to let Negan out of his cell. After some complications, we had to travel from house to house through the storm. Judith and Eddie heard Daryl's dog barking and they went after him, and Negan ran to save them. After that, I forcibly have to admit that Negan and I are kinda friends. People still don't trust him or like him, and some still want him dead, but I've been working to convince them otherwise. Maggie, who left shortly after me, just came home and she's having a hard time dealing with it.

There was the whole issue of learning that Daryl left the communities while I was at the hospital. That caused a few fights, but we were fighting a lot after I came home, mostly because of the break-up from many years ago. I finally got the truth about why he did that, too. Michelle basically told him he was bad for me and convinced him that I wasn't happy. Chad put the idea in her head, but regardless, it happened. Daryl finally admitted that to me, as well as the fact that he's had a crush on me since he met, and he managed to decide that he wants to be with me, with horrible timing because of Shane.

Shane was with Roselyn when I came home. For a while, I avoided him because it was painful to see, but we eventually talked and things were okay. There was some hint in his words that he didn't love her, and then he came back home with me to talk more and he admitted to it. I couldn't lie about it and told him I still had feelings for him, too, though I think he already knew. And then I kissed him. He decided he'd break up with Roselyn when he got home, not just because of me but because he realized he was only with her because she reminded him of me. Still, I wrecked them a bit and I felt guilty, especially once I told Shane that I still wasn't ready to be with him until I sorted out the complications with Daryl. It was shortly after that when we got trapped in the cave and Daryl suddenly changed how he felt and even kissed me.

Yeah, then the cave collapsed with Connie, Magna, and me still inside so it was about a week before I saw either of the guys again. We eventually took the Whisperers down and Maggie came home, too. We went with her to find her people but most were dead. Apparently, there was some group chasing them and attacking them, and some shithead shot me but we found Maggie's son alive and well. Through most of that trip, I tried to convince Maggie to be okay with Negan and I still don't know if she is. I'm hoping they avoid each other.

Daryl told me before we went home that he was sorry for how things went between us, and that he'd understand if I chose Shane over him. I then spent some free time with Kelly and Maggie trying to decide what to do, and eventually, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be with Shane and fix the friendship between me and Daryl.