Chapter 50: And you have the audacity to save you didn't love me.

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(DAY 684) It feels like forever since the last time I wrote but it was only yesterday. Just yesterday and today, so much has happened. After that last entry, I talked to Maggie and we proposed a plan to plant seeds outside the walls to get a steady supply of food going. We talked to Deanna about it and started looking at a place to start when all hell broke loose. Alexandria was attacked. These people called 'Wolves' showed up and started killing people. I still barely have a clue what went down but it's settled now. We lost a good chunk of the Alexandrians and it's heartbreaking.

Right at the same time as that, the quarry of walkers broke loose and the other half of our people had to initiate the plan we had come up with to lead them away. With great timing, a truck crashed into our wall and the horn signaled half the herd to come our way. The walls are currently surrounded by walkers and all of our vehicles are left at the quarry so we're a little shit out of luck right now. We're going to figure it out, though.

Daryl, Sasha, Abraham, Glenn, Nicholas, and others didn't come home. I've been worried out of my mind but I'm trying to focus on solving what's happening here. Spencer made an attempt less than an hour ago to zipline across the barrier and get over the walkers by literally going over them. It didn't work out and he nearly died, but he's okay and no one got hurt. I've just been calming down the past couple of minutes from nearly losing another Monroe. I don't think I could stand to lose Deanna or Spencer at this point. I just couldn't.

On the bright side, Shane and I have continued getting along since I got back from my trip with Titus. Earlier, I was sitting with Shane, Merle, and Titus, talking about a bunch of random things. It was kind of refreshing. For example, we discovered that my ex from a few years back named Tim Burns had planned on killing the Dixons and I the day after he dumped me. He was arrested by Rick and Shane on the way over, though, so I guess Shane did save my life at some point. Interesting.

One of the things we talked about was "AZ". Shane asked what it stood for and my answer kinda sucked. I want to change what I label the days now. I always put 684 AZ or whatever day it is at the top of each entry so it's easier to see when flipping through, but AZ doesn't fit right.

I'm going to change it to AV. After Virus. I want to change the set-up a little, too. Instead of just counting the days, I want to include years. For example, if today is 684 AV, it's been 1 year and 319 days. I'll be formatting these differently for now on. Example: 1-319 AV. One year and 319 days. I think that makes sense and kinda helps clarify how long it's been. We're barely months away from year 2. I can probably figure out the exact date but that's assuming I didn't screw up any days in the midst of being on the road the few times we were. If my count is correct, today would be January 11th, 2012. I consider February 26th of 2010 as Day one for the Dixons and I, and when we got to the CDC, he confirmed that the virus had initially risen that day, so my count was correct at least until we left the farm. It may have gotten screwed up since then from lack of counting but it should at least be close to January 11th. We're in 2012 already, too. That's insane.

That's about all I have for now. I'll probably update after Daryl gets home.

-CJ
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Though it felt weird to look at my journal with all the new changes I had made, I closed it and stood up from my seat on the porch swing. I carried my journal back inside, taking it upstairs to the bedroom I shared with Daryl. I placed it on the top of the dresser with the rest of my stuff: my first journal, my camera, and the albums full of pictures.

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