Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 12: You wanna live to see Merle again?

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(DAY 202) Let me fill you in. After my last entry, Lori told me she had to talk to me and the next day, she did. She's pregnant. Not only that, but she's pretty sure it's Shane's. So after that, I told her I'd talk to him about it, and then I hung out with Andrea for a little bit. We played a little game, but then she started insisting that there's something going on between me and Shane, so I went inside and took a nap in the house, and I had that same dream from when I was at Woodbury and pregnant. It was a little different but not much. Well, after that, I talked to Shane about Lori and he was alright at first but ended up freaking and saying he needed to leave to make things right, and I told him it wouldn't do me well if he left. Then a gunshot went off and we ran out to see that Andrea had shot Daryl by accident. Well, it wasn't an accident, she just didn't realize it was Daryl.

I talked to Daryl yesterday in the morning about what had happened while he was out searching. Long story short, he got knocked out by flying off the horse and got a little messed up. He also said that he had seen a hallucination of Merle, which is weird, but he's okay.

Yesterday was chaos. I mean, it wasn't super extravagant or eventful, but it was chaos. For one, we had shooting practice in the morning, and I basically refused to shoot the bottles because I didn't feel like wasting bullets to practice something I've been doing for months, so when Shane came over to see the progress and saw I wasn't doing anything, he started throwing bottles and cans up in the air for me to shoot. I hit them all pretty well, and then he asked T to throw one for him, but I shot it before he could. After that, he grabbed me and we started heading out for a run. Andrea looked pretty teasing since she's been so sure that there's something going on between Shane and me, but by the time we left, he and I were in a pretty calm argument or sassy conversation, something tame, and it started getting weirdly personal.

I found out that Shane is only so rude and shit with me because he feels comfortable enough around me and feels sure that even if he's mean, I won't view him differently, or in other words, that I can take him being an asshole and it wouldn't change how I see him. I also blurted out that the reason I went with him, Rick, and Carl the day he got shot was that I didn't want him to leave ME. It just continued to be weirdly personal, and I kept making fun of him and calling him bald on the way to the house we were raiding. When we got there, I kicked the door open, then we checked around and found a good bit of food downstairs, including two boxes of Cheerios completely untouched (which Shane and I kept a secret in my tent for us to snack on in peace together). Upstairs, I found a really big hoodie and a couple things in the bathroom, but Shane got attacked by a walker and I had to come save him.

He was quiet and literally didn't talk for most of the ride home, and that's when things went down. I wanted to talk about what happened and he didn't, and I just got so sick of the way he talked to me that I flipped out and it turned into a huge argument. Eventually it led back to us talking about him leaving, and I ended up getting out of the car and giving him the option to drive off, saying I'd walk home and make up a story that he was dead or something so no one would know, but he said he wasn't going to leave yet, and I still refused to get back in the car because I was so pissed off. He eventually also got pissed enough to drive away, and after about twenty minutes, he came back again and it turned into another fight. He unintentionally revealed that he told Andrea something and I'm not supposed to know about it, but I never found out. Then he grabbed my arm to drag me to the car, and more chaos happened.

I slapped him across the face out of instinct. Due to how I always reacted when Chad grabbed me, I immediately felt the need to do the same, and after that, I was shaking from crying so hard. Shane wasn't mad at me, and he said he'd never do something to hurt me like that, but I could barely speak because of crying so hard, so we just hugged for a second and got in the car. I fell asleep soon after and woke up in my tent at night in my sweatpants with my hair undone, changed my period stuff in the bathroom, and found a note from Shane apologizing for what had happened and a few other things, thanking me for saving him three times, telling me where my Cheerios were (under one of his shirts in the corner so now I have a Shane shirt), and then he told me that he thought about it and realized that I must really care about him and think that him staying is a good idea, so he's going to stay now and help make sure the group stays on track.