Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 34: Believe me, I had plenty of reason to kill him.

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE
 (This applies for most of the following chapters, though mainly from Cory talking about it.)

>>>
(DAY 641) It's been a couple days since my last entry. Last time I wrote, we were in a house a good bit from here. Since then, a lot happened. Well, it was only really that day, but after, things calmed down a little. I don't know.

After I finished my last entry, I read through a Bible for a couple minutes and then went upstairs to check on Rick, who had planned on taking a nap. We talked for a minute before some men showed up, one coming upstairs just slow enough for Rick to hide under the bed while I ran to a different room. He fell asleep in the same bed Rick was under, and soon after, another came up and fought the first guy, took the bed, and went to sleep. Rick managed to get out from under the bed right as a third guy came up the stairs, waking the others up and then all the men downstairs were talking about finding a woman's shirt and wanting to rape her when she got back. All the while, I was in the shower, hiding behind the curtain while another guy was sitting on the toilet. Rick then made it to the bathroom where I was, and he fought with the man until I jumped out and stabbed him with a loofah on a stick. We got the hell out of there, then, and we were almost stuck hiding behind the porch because one of the men was standing there where he'd be able to see us. With amazing timing, the guy in the bathroom turned and attacked the other men while Rick and I escaped, getting Michonne and Carl right when they got back to the house. We got the hell out of there.

Since then, we've been making distance. We saw that sign for a place called 'Terminus', and we're planning on going there. We've made it a good bit toward the place but now we've stopped to rest and get something to eat. Rick has a snare trap set up, and I'm hoping we'll get something. We don't have much of the Cheerios left, and I really don't feel like finishing the box ever.

I don't know if I feel confident about Terminus. We're always so trusting, and it's never really turned out for us. I'm scared that this is a wrong choice, that this one time Rick put his faith in me, I made a wrong call. Rick always blew me off when I had crazy plans, and this one time he let me decide, I'm worried it was a bad idea. I don't know if I want to go through with it anymore, but I don't know what else we could possibly do at this point. We want to find our people. I could care less about myself. I just want to see Daryl and Merle and Glenn and Maggie and Beth and everyone else again. I want my people back.

Rick also found this book of baby names, too, back when we were at the house. I haven't had much to do, so I decided to look through it, and I have yet to find any names that I like. Nothing feels meaningful to me. I want to name the baby after someone who meant a lot to me before. I just... I don't know who. We lost so many people.

Rick's been taking care of me a lot since we found him and Carl in the house. Well, he's been taking care of me since I met him, but more so when I told him I was pregnant. Since that afternoon, he's been watching me like a hawk. After leaving the house, too, he's been keeping a close eye on me just as much as he's been watching his 14 year old kid. I'm grateful, but I feel bad that he's been dedicating so much of his energy to me. I can't really tell if he cares, either, or if it's just out of pity and maybe obligation. I don't know.

We're going to check the snare trap now.

Signing out,
Cory Jenner
>>>

I put my journal away as the other three began getting to their feet. Rick put out a hand to help me get up, patting me on the shoulder for a moment before we both began walking. Carl and Michonne were ahead of us, talking very quietly to themselves like usual. Being in the middle of the woods, we didn't want to make that much sound. We didn't really feel like walking in silence, though. Well, Carl, Rick, and Michonne didn't want to. I was a different story. I didn't say a word as we started heading toward the area we had set the snare trap.