Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 8: You set me off like a fuckin' sparkler.

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(DAY 198) It's really dark out. Somehow, tonight feels darker than any night I've experienced so far. It's only been one day since I last updated this journal. My last entry was yesterday morning, in the car with Shane when we just reached the highway. It's literally only the next day, but it feels like the past two days have lasted a week's worth of time.

Where do I start? Well, after writing that entry about how Shane and I barely got along, we started getting along pretty well. We were joking around while searching the highway after the RV's hose blew and we found out that there was no space to drive through all the cars on the road. We were fucking around while looking through the cars, and he talked to me about the whole rec room thing. He tried to explain that he was really fucked up when that happened and apologized multiple times for it. I understood what he meant. I didn't forget that it happened, but I didn't see him that way. That wasn't how I defined him.

Then a huge herd came through. Hundreds of them. It was horrifying. We were all under cars for the most part, and when they all passed through, Sophia climbed out and got chased into the woods by two stray walkers. Rick chased after her, but things didn't go well and now it's been over 24 hours since anyone's seen her. Rick and Daryl looked for her for hours after that but came back when it got dark, and we all went out again this morning. Every lead we had turned out wrong. Some church bells were ringing and we ran to a church, but she wasn't there either.

Yesterday, Shane told Lori and I that he was planning to sneak away and go off on his own soon. He had fixed up a car and everything. I tried to convince him not to, but he rudely commented that I was the last person he'd stay for, basically. And then this morning, at the church, I was talking to Andrea and we overheard a fight between him and Lori about him leaving. Andrea tried to talk him into taking her along, but I left before the end of their conversation and went inside and prayed.

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Sorry, I had to stop because dinner was done.

Anyways, I told Andrea about Merle and Daryl. She seemed surprised. Apparently, Merle was a complete asshole to everyone at their camp, and according to details I later got from Glenn, it was because of him not being able to find me. I also finally found out what happened to him. Merle was left on a roof in Atlanta and had to cut his hand off, and was now missing. I couldn't believe it at first that after almost 200 days of being sure I'd someday find him and see him again, he was left behind and now gone.

After we left the church, I argued to join Shane, Rick, and Carl in their group because I wanted to talk to Shane. It became a huge fight again because he felt it was unnecessary for me to come, but I ended up going with them anyway. I talked to Carl a little, and when I taunted Shane about his hair, he grabbed my arm and pulled me ahead. We ended up arguing more and I tried to stop him when I noticed a deer, and after, a man behind the deer. The hunter shot the gun and it went straight through the deer, into Shane's leg. I ran a mile to a farm, and now most of us are here. They got to Shane in time to save him, and the man who shot him, Otis, and I went to the high school to get some supplies.

Things went to hell at the school. It was supposed to be simple but we got swarmed and had to jump from a second story window into a bush. My arm turned red and got numb from it, weirdly. But we managed to make it back to the truck and home safely. Well, I did. Otis failed to mention that he was bitten at some point in the craziness, and he passed away when we got home. Hershel took care of it for us, but I feel like absolute shit, no matter how many people try to tell me it's not my fault.