Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 42: I won't pretend like those feelings ever went away.

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(DAY 020) It's been a couple days since my last entry. Not a whole lot changed since then, up until today. Well, for one, I hung out with Martinez at his house in town all day after one of our shifts. He told me that he's starting to think Phillip likes me, and then listed a whole bunch of reasons why.

1 - He never saw Phillip let anyone address him by his first name.

2 - As far as Martinez was aware, Phillip never asked anyone else to dinner the first night they were in Woodbury. In fact, Phillip said he invited a couple others to dinner that night, but no one showed up. Apparently, Phillip only invited me and pretended it wasn't supposed to be a date.

3 - Phillip supposedly mentions me in specific all the time out of all the community members.

4 - Phillip told Martinez that he felt awful for putting me in a house with a man and kids, but Martinez knew it was just because he didn't want me to start liking Titus.

Martinez said he had plenty of evidence but Phillip ironically stopped by to ask Martinez something. I left in the midst of the awkwardness and went back home. I can't stop thinking about it, though. Phillip could possibly like me. I mean, I always thought he was handsome and he was a nice man to me right off the bat. He did seem funny as well during our dinner, too. He's charming and witty, as far as I know. What's not to like about him?

Oh my god, I think I might like him. Now I have a crush on the leader of the town and it's all because Martinez suggested the idea of him liking me. Then again, Titus thought so too when I got back from dinner that night. Am I just desperate? Maybe that's it. It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship, let alone anything serious. On top of that, I've been feeling really lonely since the start of this. And I've only known Phillip a week. I must just be craving attention or something.

And Phillip just knocked on my door and asked me if I had anything to do tonight. For someone in charge of an entire town, he sure has a lot of free time to spend with just me. I told him I didn't have any plans or anything, so he asked me if I wanted to come over and have a drink. Of course, I said yes. I don't know if this is a date or not but I'm gonna dress up anyway and hope he doesn't get weirded out. Maybe Karen will let me borrow a little makeup.

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Update: Karen let me borrow makeup and she's helping me get ready later tonight. I asked her what she thought and she said she agrees with Martinez and Titus. Her words were literally, and I quote, "I bet he hasn't stopped thinking about you since he found you." I'm starting to get really excited and nervous. I might throw up. Oh god, what if I get too drunk tonight and throw up or start crying or rambling? What if I try to have sex with him and he thinks I'm weird? I just won't get too drunk. Problem solved.

It's still light out, so it'll be a little bit until he comes to get me. I don't know what I'm gonna do until then. I've been busy since I got here, meeting the new people or taking shifts or catching up on sleep. This is actually the first time I haven't been doing something. I don't see Martinez anywhere from here, but he could be anywhere. This town is large. I'm gonna go find Milton. Maybe he needs help with something. I'll be back to finish this up later.
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When I saw Rosita exit the house, returning to the porch where the lot of us sat, I waited to hear who was heading in after her. A bunch of the group had already gone, but I hadn't, and neither had Daryl, Merle, or Shane. After the argument that had just gone down, I could only pray I was next. We had only been sitting on the porch a couple of minutes, only behind these community walls for nothing more than a half hour, and we had begun fighting like we used to at the farm.