Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 80: My life went to shit without you.

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE/PEDOPHILIA/PTSD

(I would like to remind any readers that the trigger warnings for suicide and rape are present for most chapters. Extra warnings are placed on heavier chapters.)

<<<
(DAY 658) It's only been days since my last entry, but I don't have much else to do, so I figured I might as well write another letter. This one will be for Hershel and Beth.

Dear Hershel,

I remember the day I met you like the back of my hand. It was so long ago, yet it's such a prominent memory in my mind. I remember running onto your farm, hearing your name from Otis, and hoping to God you'd be able to save my friend's life. I remember seeing you walk out from behind Maggie, and you didn't hesitate to help us despite not having a clue who we were. We could've been bad people, but you didn't stop to think that. You just helped.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about what Phillip did. I didn't get the full story until just earlier this morning, and it's been weeks. Apparently, he captured you and Michonne from the woods and held you hostage so he could take the prison and find me, or whatever his twisted motive was. When Rick didn't just give in, when Rick tried to negotiate, he just killed you. I saw you when I left the prison. I saw what he did, and I saw Phillip right after. I killed him. He didn't deserve to live.

You and I, we had a good few memories together. There was the time when the farm went down and I stayed behind to make you leave. Of course, then I had a panic attack in the woods, and we spent the whole night walking and talking. There was also those times at the farm when you'd try to have me or Rick stay back and keep an eye on the group, and the times you'd try to convince me that I'd be a good leader. You never even got to learn that I'm pregnant. You died before I told anyone, besides Rick. You'd have loved to see me now, I just know it.

Beth died, too. She made it a while, and she'd most likely still be going if it weren't for the asshole that took us. It's a long story, but Beth is with you now. Maggie's still here, and we're going to take care of her no matter what it takes. We miss you, though, and she misses you and Beth. We're never going to forget you.

Dear Beth,

God, what a time. We weren't the closest, but I talked to you more than I talked to a good few others. We shared a few words at the farm, but when we got to the prison, we bonded over Judith and occasional conversations about Daryl and I. When we got to the hospital, that was when things changed.

The second you walked into my room, I wanted to jump up and hug you so bad. There were scars on your face, and it boiled my blood that someone could look at you and have enough anger to hurt you. It just didn't make sense. I could never see you doing something to piss someone off that badly. Even if you had, it gave no right to scar your face. Still, you made it past that. You survived Dawn's torment and survived whatever hell you went through in that place. I admire you trying to kill her. I had nearly considered it.

If you wouldn't have done what you did, maybe I would've, and maybe things would've gone the same way, just with me dead instead of you. Daryl shot Dawn the second you hit the ground. He didn't hesitate. He seriously cared about you, whether he'd admit it or not. I can tell even now that he's tormented by what happened. And when he carried you out and the group saw you, my god. Maggie was broken. People miss you so much. I do. I had looked forward to us escaping the hospital and us taking care of my baby when he was born. You were excited for me to be a mother. It hurts that you don't get to see it happen. We love you, though, and we'll miss you forever.