Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 71: You never said you stopped loving me.

<<<
(DAY 141) I got my blood test this morning. It was fine. Everything went fine. The number of people coming into Woodbury has dropped drastically due to the fact that it's been over 10 days since the virus went global. Still, I'm in charge of watching for new people at the wall with Shumpert and I'm still helping with biters getting near the wall, but that part's mainly up to Shumpert since I'm pregnant. Yep, that info's been leaked all around town. I don't think I mind, though.

Since I've had a lot of time to think (Shumpert isn't the most riveting conversation-holder), my pregnancy ordeal has been on my mind a lot. I think I finally made a decision. I do want the baby. I don't just mean that I want to give birth. I want to keep it when its born and raise it myself.

I've wanted so badly to be a mother my whole fucking life. I'm not letting the apocalypse take that from me. I was blessed with finding a good and safe place to be these past few months. My god, I should be taking advantage of it while it's still safe here. I should be glad to be pregnant. I get to experience something I never got to before and I have a good environment to do it, whereas before the apocalypse I would've been raising a child in a house with Chad and Denise and often times Merle and Daryl would've been there. Now at Woodbury, I'm a million times more responsible, the baby has a loving father and a great community, a quiet place to be, and so much that it wouldn't have gotten if the apocalypse wouldn't have happened or if I wouldn't have found Woodbury. Well, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be pregnant if I wouldn't have found Woodbury, but that's not my point.

My point is that there's no real, good reason for me to think so much about whether I want the child. I did before the apocalypse even in horrible circumstances. Now I have the best life I possibly could right now and I'm contemplating it like it's that hard of a decision. It isn't. I want the baby. I want it even if it's born with down syndrome or some type of issue. I don't care. This is my baby, someone Phillip and I created ourselves. That's something I only dreamt of before. This person growing inside me is my own baby, my own family. I'm finally getting my own family.

I never told Phillip about the blood test, but I know I need to, so I'm going to go now.

Signing out,
Corynn Elaine August (Jenner)
<<<

"If you want me to stay, just say the word," I said. Conner smiled sadly at me, shaking his head.

"We're okay. Don't worry about us," he told me. There was no way for me to not worry. I could pretend but that wasn't how it worked.

"I'll be back within a few days, so-"

Conner cut me short. "You don't need to travel every other night. It's too long of a trip to keep coming back and forth. Michonne's here if we ever need anything."

I knew that Michonne would do anything for my boys but I didn't like the idea of not seeing them over such a long span of time. Yes, it took some time to get from the camp back to Alexandria, and traveling that distance just to leave town an hour later was tedious, but I didn't want to be absent. I wanted them to know I cared.

Eddie, sat on my hip with his head on my shoulder, made my heart shatter. If it wasn't so dangerous, I'd bring the boys to camp with me. Still, packing up Eddie's things to keep him occupied would be difficult and overall, I didn't want them there with all the fighting that's gone down. Justin went missing last night, too, and we had found out this morning from Maggie and Kal that he was dead, a walker when they found him. We still didn't know what happened and I didn't want the boys there when we found out.