Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 6: So, you just left him up there?

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(DAY 036) Sorry, it's been a long time since I've updated my life. Last time I wrote was the day after my date with Phillip. It's been 15 days since then. I never thought I'd forget about my journal, but he managed to occupy my mind that much. It's been so good here since then. He officially declared that we were dating and it spread around the town like wildfire. Everyone knew that we were together by the end of the week. Since then, he gave me new jobs. Well, I'm still doing shifts with Martinez, but now I take shifts with Paul, too.

He also still has me working and assisting the doctor in town, and she's been teaching me a lot of good stuff for emergencies and situations I may at some point get into. I attended this class she taught about gunshots and how to deal with them. For example, someone who gets shot in the leg has very little time before they bleed out if it hits an artery or bone. On the other hand, hitting a leg muscle is less lethal, but has more permanent damage. We practiced on dummies how to block a bullet hole until treatment is available. We learned about what to do if you're nowhere near a doctor or if you can't make it to a professional. I feel a little better with that knowledge.

Other than those classes, I spend a lot of time hanging out with Martinez when neither of us is on a shift or busy with some job. After knowing him this long, I have to admit that I think he's my new best friend. That would change quickly if Merle or Daryl ever showed up, but Martinez and I get along pretty damn well. He showed me how to throw axes, and I wanted to cry the whole time because that was something the boys didn't believe I could do. Someday, I'm gonna show them how good I am at it. Martinez said I was a natural. I haven't told him about the Dixons, either, and I also doubt I ever will. I don't think I'll ever share that type of information with anyone.

A resident down the street from where I live threw a party a couple nights ago. There was a lot of drinking, which I of course enjoyed, and they played music and everyone was dancing like it was a normal party. Even I couldn't help but forget for just a little bit that we were all in danger no matter where we went. That was something I felt for a lot of my life - that no matter where I was, I was never fully safe. Somehow, living in Woodbury is starting to feel safer than I ever did living with Chad and Denise, and dare I admit it, even with Merle and Daryl.

But anyways, things almost escalated between Phillip and me at the party. We were both really drunk again, and we got to making out after we went back to his place, but I changed my mind and said I wanted it to be more special the first time we ever did anything, and he agreed. He said he liked me too much to let our first time be while we were drunk. I respect him so much because no man I've ever dated thought that much of me. I always ended up dating some real assholes in my lifetime. I have countless stories of dating some serious jerks who would fuck on the first date and then only call me when they were horny, or guys that pretended they were in love with me and then cheated and never apologized, or guys that said they liked me, came home with me, and then ended up falling for Michelle instead because she was a little younger and much prettier.

Michelle was always better than me in every way. It wasn't the type of way that she did it on purpose out of spite or jealousy or anything that they always pull with sisters in movies. She was just generally better than me at most things in most categories. She was prettier, smarter, had a better life overall, got more love, had nicer boyfriends, cooked better, was more outgoing, got along with Chad and Denise, all this stuff that I never could beat her in. I think maybe the only thing I could beat her in is the stuff I learned at Woodbury and with Merle and Daryl. Yeah, I could dominate her in a knife-throwing competition. I could shoot a gun better. I had friends that cared about me more than her. Then again, they only met her and saw her on my birthdays.