Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 3: We ain't got time to be the good guys, Jenner!

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(DAY 195) Well, I wrote yesterday about trying to guilt trip the CDC people into letting me inside. That didn't work, but we did get in. Yes, WE. A group showed up after I tried to get in, and finally, they opened the doors. I'm extravagantly happy that we're in now, but I'm even happier because I accomplished two goals from my last journal entry. I got into the CDC, AND I found one of the Dixon boys. I'll admit, I was disappointed when Merle never showed up, and I'm still upset because no one's explained to me what happened to him, but at least I found Daryl. He may not be the one who cared for me out of the two, but it's gotta count for something in his head that I'm here.

Daryl hasn't said anything to me about our past, or about Merle. The most he spoke to me was when he was shitfaced drunk at dinner last night. Dale offered me a beer, but Daryl gave me Whiskey since he knows about my relentless hatred for beer. He also said something like "Don't apologize to her. She should apologize to you guys." He was directing it to Glenn, who apologized when he poured my Whiskey and drank from my cup. I told them that I wasn't bothered by Daryl, but we didn't explain to them that we already knew each other for more than 10 years. I still don't know if he wants to. I accidentally knocked on his door while looking for Carol and he seemed so uncomfortable standing that close to me, but I still hugged him and he actually hugged me back. We didn't talk about it then, either.

On a different note, I like the group. I don't want to get close to them and be a part of their big happy family, but they all seem nice. Well, not all. Shane - I just asked Andrea what his last name is - Walsh gives me a lot of mixed feelings. He is a complete and utter asshole, but in some sense, I have an undeniable respect for him and his good intentions. When the group first showed up, I tried to tell him and Rick that the camera definitely moved, and he just ignored me. Last night at dinner, I asked the group about what happened to them, and he tried to change the subject, saying it was a bad time to talk about it. It honestly didn't anger me that much, but I had this burning desire to challenge him for fun, which resulted in putting Shane in a bad mood. I won the argument but lost in the long run. He ended up drinking two bottles of Vodka in the shower and trying to rape Lori in the rec room late last night. That's the only thing that's keeping me from being sure I respect him. I would think he's pretty cool if it weren't for that. I heard their whole fight, Lori and Shane, and I ran in and dug my nails into his neck. I don't know why I did that of all things in defense, but it's over and done with now.

Other than him, I like the group. Dale's a sweetheart who genuinely cares for people, Jacqui... well I don't know much about her but she's nice, Carol seems pretty motherly and sweet as well; she's washing everyone's clothes. Sophia's just a young girl, but she seems well behaved and nice. Lori... you know, had a tough time. Her husband Rick is the leader and he comes off to me as smart and calm. I didn't talk to T-Dog much last night, but he seems pretty cool to me. Glenn's another one. I didn't say much but he seems like a funny guy. Carl, Rick and Lori's son, is quiet but I'm sure he listens well. Then there's Andrea. She trusted a complete stranger enough to share a room. As of now, Andrea's my favorite. Then we know Daryl and Shane...

Also, the doctor here that let us in is the only guy left. And his name is Dr. Jenner! He's my actual uncle! I finally had a chance to meet someone from my real family. Michelle would've loved to meet him. Even though Michelle wouldn't be related to him, she still cared about me and wanted me to find my family.

T-Dog's calling everyone down for breakfast. I'm fucking ready.

Signing out,
Corynn Elaine August (Jenner)
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