Lost Too Much 【REDONE】 ║ Daryl/OC or Shane/OC

Chapter 82: You make me do dumb things, Jenner.

TRIGGER WARNING: DEPICTIONS OF RAPE AND PTSD

If you are at all sensitive to these topics, please do not read this chapter. Please do not risk your mental health. I will summarize the chapter at the bottom in bold text so you don't miss anything if you wish to continue reading but would like to skip this particular chapter.

<<<
(5-295 AV) She still hasn't come back. I don't expect her to. I've been trying to move on and let go but it's impossible.

We've had new people join us over the past few years, but there's a woman that Jesus just found in the area. Her name is Roselyn. She's only been here about a week. She looks scarily like Cory, has an accent like her, same build and same hair. The only physical difference is in her face, but even then, they still look alike in some ways.

She doesn't act like Cory, though. She's nosey, always up in my business. She keeps asking me what's wrong like she can tell I'm weak. I've heard her asking around town about me and most people just tell her the same thing, that I miss my friend. They don't seem to notice it's way more than that.

Roselyn does, though. She used to be a psychologist, so she keeps trying to start up therapy sessions to figure out what's wrong with me. I've told her the bare minimum to get her off my back but now she wants to know more. I don't want to sit and whine to a stranger about the love of my life being gone.

- Shane Walsh
<<<

I stomped into the infirmary, still wiping tears from my eyes after the news we received just hours ago. I was livid, and not just that. I was hurt and I felt guilty. I had seen this coming and yet I was still shocked when it happened.

Dante killed him. He killed Siddiq. I had warned Siddiq multiple times the past few days to be careful and keep his distance. He understood that warning and it still happened. I wanted to prevent something like this from happening, but there was no way for me to incarcerate Dante without proof that he was the traitor. It was too late now, but at least we knew the truth.

Rosita had gone to check on Siddiq late into the night, and when she showed up, Dante was there acting suspiciously. He wouldn't let her in to talk to Siddiq, and she soon figured out that something was horribly wrong. Dante attacked her, too, and Siddiq turned and nearly killed his own daughter, Coco. It was an entire mess and I was wrecked from guilt, knowing I could've prevented it had I put in a little more effort to incriminate Dante. I didn't try hard enough and now my friend was dead.

At the same time, I did the best I could. I warned Siddiq enough to convince him to be careful. I couldn't entirely blame myself. I'd have been the bad guy if I was wrong about Dante and threw him in jail. Even then, I'm not entirely sure the council would've agreed with me unless I had proof.

When I reached the room Dante was patched up in, still injured from Rosita fighting back, I had to fight the urge to continue attacking him. I was beyond any describable word for angry. Just when Siddiq and I got close, just when I became certain he needed to be careful, Dante killed him. Siddiq didn't deserve that. He deserved a good life after everything he did for us and went through.

I wanted to kill him myself, with my own bare hands wrapped around his throat until he couldn't breathe but that wasn't what was best. It would make me feel better but only temporarily. That best option was to try to see what he knew. Maybe he knew the location of the horde if Aaron hadn't gotten it out of the Whisperer he had recently been encountering at one of our borders. I wanted to choose violence now. It wasn't smart but it was so tempting to just initiate a war so I could see the Whisperers die. I understood what Carol was feeling now.