𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲?

𝟑𝟏

Billie's POV

There I was.

In a place I never thought I'd be again.

Last time I was here I was 12.

I couldn't do it.

I was full of love back then.

I cared about myself a little.

I don't anymore.

I was on a bridge.

A tall, empty bridge.

It was dark outside already.

Raining.

Maybe one or two cars passing by every now and then.

Below the bridge lies my fate.

What I've awaited for so long.

My happily ever after.

A fall this high could kill you, no doubt.

I wasn't afraid.

I was ready.

Excited even.

It wasn't a question as to whether I would miss everyone or not.

I know I will.

No one's gonna miss me though.

And I'm okay with that.

I don't wanna be dead. I just want an end to the pain.

But to end the pain you must be numb.

And to be numb, you must be dead.

I took in a deep breath as I slowly climbed over the handrails and onto the other side.

I was crying.

Not a good cry or a bad cry.

I was emotionless.

Empty.

So goddamn empty.

This is it.

The part where it stops.

Where it finally goes my way.

This is everything I wanted.

Closing my eyes, I let go of the rail and jumped.

As soon as I jumped, I was pulled back harshly.

"I'm not letting you do this to yourself, Billie." It was Jah.

I should've fucking known.

I should've went somewhere more private.

Like a rooftop or something.

What a dumbass.

Oh shut up, brain.

"Jah-" Before I could finish talking, he used all his strength to lift me up and carry me back over to the other side of the bridge.

"Listen to me, Billie. You cant do this to yourself."

"And why the fuck not." I huffed angrily.

"Because....  Because you're to swag to die." Damn, he's right.

(A/N : Okay okay, I'll stop LMAOSKMALOJNSAL)

"Listen to me, Billie. You cant do this to yourself."

"And why the fuck not." I huffed angrily.

Everyone wants me to and so do I.

There's no point anymore.

"You have a future, Billie. One day Ariana's gonna call you 'mom' again.

 One day you're gonna find true love again. 

You're gonna be one of the biggest stars in the world and you're gonna be happy.

 That, I can promise. 

No one gives a fuck about all the negative energy.

No one gives a fuck about all the haters.

It's about you, Billie.

It's gonna get better. I know everyone says that to you but what you don't know is that I'm sure of it.

No one wants you to leave.

Yeah, so you fucked up in your past. So what?

Why are you letting it define you?

Having a great future doesn't require a great past. 

You have so much time to fix the things and the people you broke and move on.

You're wasting that time moping around and crying about why you shouldn't have done it instead of doing something about it.

So here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna take you back home.

You're gonna think about what I said.

And you're gonna try to make a goddamn difference, you hear me?"

"Yes." I mumbled under my breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. I said do you fucking hear me?"

"YES."