My mom who abused me. Abandoned me. Scarred me for life.
That mom.
All the memories started flooding back into my mind. ALL of them. Memories that I so desperately tried to push away.
"Ari sweetie, I didn't think you'd be home so early." Mom chuckled nervously as my real mom just sat there next to her, staring back at me with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
She then got up from the couch and slowly walked over to me.
Billie's POV
I got a little closer to her and as soon as I did, she backed up quickly.
"Ari-"
She flinched as if I was gonna hit her.
Fuck what have I done to her.
Tears started leaving her eyes, one by one but her face remained straight. As if seeing me had triggered something in her.
"I-I'll leave you two alone to talk. C'mon Liz." I heard Joan call for the girl right next to her.
"No, I'm not leaving her here with her alone. What if she-"
"Elizabeth please." The girl sighed before giving me a dirty look and leaving the room with Joan.
It's just me and Ariana now.
She looked pale. Like she saw a ghost or something.
"Ariana-"
"Why are you here?" She asked, her voice just barely above a whisper.
"I wanted to talk to you. To apologize-"
"Apologize? Y-you can't just ap-..apologize and magically make everything you did go a-away." She whispered the last part before collapsing to the floor in tears.
I wanted to hug her but I knew if I got to close she would flinch again.
"Please go away." Her high pitched voice begged.
As much as I wanted to make her feel better, I needed to at least get this over with.
"Will you just hear me out? Please Ariana?" I begged.
She was quiet. For a really long time. I let her take her time. She needed it.
"How could you do that to someone?" She whispered through her shaking sobs.
"I-...I'm sorry Ariana-"
"Sorry? Your sorry? Billie, where was the sorry when you beat me unconscious every day? Where was the sorry when you degraded me every chance you got? Where was the sorry when you forced me to...." She stopped herself. She couldn't even say it. It was as if saying it would make it true to her.
"And then you have the audacity to come to my house and pop up in my life again? What, you thought you saying sorry would change everything and that I would magically forgive you? That we could be happy mother and daughter? Was that it?" Ouch.
"I don't expect you to forgive me. I still don't forgive me. I just-... I need you to see that I'm a different person now. That I would never lay my hands on you like that. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you or drug you or anything like that. I want my daughter back, Ariana..." I leaned down to her level as she was still crying with her knees up to her chest, on the floor.
"Yeah well, it's a little to late for that, Billie." She mumbled angrily.
I wasn't used to her using my first name. It hurt, I'm not gonna lie... but I deserve it.
"Please leave me alone." Her soft, high pitched voice cracked slightly at the end of her sentence.
She couldn't even look me in the eyes.
"Ariana I-... I can't lose you again. Just another chance is all I'm asking for. Please."
She continued to sob quietly, looking everywhere but at me.
So, I did what my instinct told me to do.
I slowly and carefully leaned down to her level and gently lifted her head up.
"Look at me," I mumbled softly.
She opened her bloodshot eyes and gave me the most pleading look ever as if she was silently begging me to leave.
"I'm not... gonna hurt you again. I would never even dare to lay my hands on you that way. I'll admit, what I did was beyond fucked up but I was a drunk, drugged, messed up piece of shit and I know that's not an excuse for the way I treated you but just know that I was in a horrible head space at that time and if you just give me a second chance I can show you how much I've changed. Please Ariana?"
All I need is a second chance. That's all I need to show her that I'm a better person than she thinks I am.
"I don't wanna get hurt again, please-"
"I won't hurt you, Ariana. You have to trust me on this one." I was on the verge of tears as well but I wasn't about to cry in front of her. She had a reason to cry, not me.
Suddenly, she did the complete unexpected and pulled me in for a hug.
I quickly wrapped my arms around her and hugged her right back.
I've never hugged her before.
I liked it.
I had a feeling she liked it too considering it felt like she was holding onto me for dear life.
"So is this a yes as in you'll give me a second chance?"
"No. This is a goodbye hug. I don't ever wanna see you again, Billie. You hurt me in ways I can't even describe and gave me to many disorders to even name. I know you think your a different person now but I still see you the same way. You abused me and for a long time, made me think it was normalcy." For fucks sake bro.
"I don't hate you as much as I should... But sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night knowing that you gave your only daughter and eating disorder and ptsd." I don't sleep at night. I stay up wondering if your okay.
"Ariana, please. Just one chance is all I'm asking for. Or at least a chance to explain everything to you. Your... mom told me you always wondered things about your real family. I can tell you all that stuff. Hell, I can show you all that stuff. Your uncle, your grandma, everyone who's been doing the best they fucking could to help me find you. I'm begging you, Ariana. Please?"
A/N : AHHHHHHH another cliff hanger 🤪🌝🤠
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
