𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲?

𝟕𝟒

Billie's POV

"Shhh, it's okay. You're alright. Just breathe. Take a deep breath for me, angel." I held Lisa in my arms tightly.

She struggled to control her breathing pattern and continued to shake with each breath she took.

Tears were falling from her red, bloodshot eyes. Sniffles from her nose, whimpers escaping her mouth as she cried onto my shoulder in a state of hysteria.

She held onto me just as tightly if not tighter.

I cant even imagine let alone fathom what's going through her mind right now.

"You're okay, mama. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." I rubbed her back up and down gently.

I peppered kisses on her neck, endeavoring to hopefully calm her down.

In due course, she did.

Her once fast paced breathing had now slowed as she started to quiet down.

"I'm so sorry, Billie." She spoke just barely above a whisper.

"Don't apologize. I don't even know what you're apologizing for but you know better. Nothing ever has been or ever will be your fault so stop it."

"I-I didn't mean what I said i-in the hospital. I'm s-sorry," She began to hyperventilate, coughing between each breath. "I cant live without you." She sobbed harder than before.

My heart broke more and more with each tear that slid down her beautiful face.

Holding myself back from crying.. that was a challenge on it's own.

I hate seeing my wife cry.

The love of my life who deserves everything good in life and more... Cant seem to stop getting hurt.

And for what.

Part of me wondered if she had been waiting for the right moment to finally speak up and say she wants a divorce because seeing me every day was too much to handle.

Too much of a connection to the past that she was terrified of repeating.

Another part of me is saying she loves me too much to ever let me go.

I wish I could believe that.

"I know you didn't mean it, Lisa. But why did you say it?"

"B-Because I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anything. You deserve someone prettier than me a-and someone who can give you whatever you want and how many babies you want but I c- I cant do that for you. I'm not worth anything and I-" Cutting her off, I lifted her head off of my shoulder gently, forcing her to face me.
I held onto her face and pressed my lips against hers. I pulled her in for a deep, long kiss, tasting every salty tear that rolled down from her cheeks and down to her lips.

"Don't you ever talk about yourself like that again. Not ever. Do I make myself clear?"

"Billie, you cant j-just sit here and tell me how much you love me and expect me to suddenly change my mind about you deserving better. We both know that you do."

"Yeah, you're right. I do know I deserve better. I had Quinn and knew I deserved you. I was single for the entirety of the time I was separated from you and Ariana because I knew you were the only one for me. I want you, Lisa. I only want you. I've only ever wanted you and it's staying that way forever now that I finally have you. There's no way in hell I'm letting you go. Think what you want to think but it's my job as your wife to make sure that you know I love you. There is no pushing me away during a time where we both know damn well we need each other the most, Lisa.