''Camila, you know it's been a long time coming.''
''We can't keep doing this, Shawn.'' I sob, aware that my heart is breaking as well as his. ''I really didn't want to lose you, but I don't want to keep playing these games with you. I'm tired of bu...
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I swipe the keycard through the electronic lock a couple of times without managing to unlock it and I start to get annoyed. My eyes close from exhaustion, my backpack added to my guitar case make an additional weight on my back and I feel that at any moment I will collapse on the floor. I wait twenty seconds for the system to reboot and swipe the keycard again with trembling fingers.
- What a hit you took with that fall, buddy. - Everyone laughs at me in front of their rooms.
- Yeah, that was insane. - I shake my head smiling in amusement. The door finally opens revealing the darkened interior. - I don't really know why I took that huge leap.
- Add Quebec to the list of places where the great Shawn Mendes has fallen down on stage. - Scoffs Mike entering his assigned room. - Good night, guys.
- Good night. - We say goodbye at the same time and I lose sight of them.
I close the door behind me leaving my things on the nearest chair and make my way to the bathroom as my first urgent stop. I wash my hands and face with plenty of ice water without even turning on the light in the hotel room; I don't need it anyway. I proceed to undress and change into my pajama pants and rummage through the mahogany drawers for the TV remote control, which I turn on to fill the overwhelming silence.
I try to make sense of my suitcase sprawled on the floor, pulling out and rearranging clothes, but give up after less than ten minutes. Everything will be wrinkled when I open it tomorrow. You can always send it out to be ironed, right Shawn? I get up the courage to complete my task, answer a couple of messages from my family who expect me to visit them sometime this week and finally lie down on the fluffy bed of cold white sheets, turning up the volume on the TV which has been paused on a scene in which the main characters are sailing to certain death brought on by a hurricane in the middle of the ocean. Why is the water chasing me? Just watching the waves fiercely pounding the small boat gives me chills, and I opt to turn it off.
Whatever urge to sleep I had is gone without realizing it, so I find myself alone with my thoughts. And those thoughts eventually turn to Camila, who I am shamelessly stalking on her networks. She looked beautiful today, as always, in fact; there's not one picture where she looks bad. When Andrew scheduled me at this summer festival (I won't even try to pronounce it in French), I didn't know until this morning that she would be performing as well. I wanted to meet her but between rehearsals, interviews and so on it was impossible, and I couldn't even see her on stage when she came out before me.
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