''Camila, you know it's been a long time coming.''
''We can't keep doing this, Shawn.'' I sob, aware that my heart is breaking as well as his. ''I really didn't want to lose you, but I don't want to keep playing these games with you. I'm tired of bu...
(OMG! 50 chapters already? I can't believe it! Thanks for joining me this far)
Track #34: 24 Hours
***
Shawn's POV
March 12, 2020
"Welcome to Wonderland."
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I smile contentedly sticking the snapshots just taken by Josiah on the mood board as we all listen to the full track of Song For No One for the first time, blasting out of the speakers in the recording studio here in New York. I definitely feel the presence of the geniuses on the walls and I'm going with my gut and not the chaos going on inside my mind (which has been more controlled to be honest). It feels really nice energy and it's fucking electrifying. And to think I wrote the song in one of the worst moments of my life... Who knew it would end up being the sonic guide for the whole album?
- Shawn, TMHTL is ready to record and I've already modified Higher's second verse. - Scott hands me my notebook all scratched up in my cursive handwriting.
I glance at it briefly, knowing in advance that he has written something very good, as always. Just like everyone else who is helping me bring all my memories back to reality, in a mini-series I call 'love overdose'. The protagonist: Mi Reina, Camila. Of course.
''I almost can't believe it, so please don't wake me if I'm dreamin'...''
I want to compose a song that will answer her question and clear her of any doubt: "Please say you dream of me too, can you?" Well of course I can, there's nothing else I'd like to do but dream about her. That's the beauty of having my own muse as I unburden myself in my music.
- Thanks buddy. - I smile at Scott as we both resume our seats. - Can we put these aside for now and get on with the Dream demo?
- Yeah, as you wish. George is coming over later to help us mix it.
He looks at me with poorly disguised intent having a clear idea of why I want to give more importance to this particular song. It's no secret to anyone how much I miss Camila right now, and I was pretty overwhelmed for that reason; the anxiety of not being able to be with her coupled with the pressure I was putting on myself to do a superior job to what I've already done was very detrimental. But now I feel how I am letting my emotions flow and I'm writing about anxiety more as a companion that I have to live with and less of an enemy that I'm trying to resist.
With the beautiful image of the love of my life in my thoughts, I immerse myself in mysterious scenarios out of this world, guided by soft guitar chords that I play with my fingers looking for the ideal note to compose a kind of lullaby.
- Could you go "counting back from 100, so I can fall asleep faster"? - Scott suggests being in sync with me.
- You're asleep in London, I count back from 100... Yeah, that's cool.
