(The way I cried and screamed writing this chapter... I feel like I should put a WARNING... just in case, you know?) ‼😈💋🔥
Track #25: Used To This
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Camila's POV
June 25, 2019
Sometimes I just want to sit down and scream.....
What an intense month it's been and there's still an extra week to go; the days couldn't pass any slower just at the moment when I wish I could teleport to Shawn's side, wherever he is. But there are two things separating us: my sophomore album and his Tour. Work, being apart and not talking as often are some of the many things I'm worried about right now, if we're going to commit to being anything more than...two idiots trying to get out of the friendzone. How the fuck are we going to make this work? The control freak in me is looking for answers where there are none.
Professionally speaking, there is a whole world out there that moves with extreme speed. The single has been quite a surprise hit, no one was expecting it, and it took us months to bring this project to fruition. I should thank heaven for changing my mind; otherwise I wouldn't be where I am with Shawn. However, every story has a silver lining and another that makes me want to bury ten feet under. But we'll get to that...
I highlight on my to-do schedule what we've managed to finish in the studio, which isn't much to tell the truth. Bad Kind Of Butterflies is in final post-production arrangements and although it sounds amazing like something out of a horror movie, I don't think I'll ever get to sing it live, or maybe I will, we'll see... The thing is, I'm not thrilled to hear it. Living Proof, Liar, Cry For Me will surely be on the album, but there's still a long way to go... I might change my mind at the end of next month, that's just me.
- Camila, listen to this. - Watt calls my attention from the sound panel, and plays the new demo.
''Distance, inches in between us
I want you to give in, I want you to give in, oh
Weakness, tension in between us
I just wanna give in
And I don't care if I'm forgiven''
God, that breathy voice... I have to give myself some creds for that one.
- I wish I could be that girl the song describes. - I moan, grimacing.
- Aren't you? - Watt frowns incredulously.
- Obviously not. - I snort one hundred percent convinced. - I mean, I'm trying to be. Like taking baby steps... with Shawn, I mean.
Watt nods barely comprehending what I'm trying to explain and mamá sitting next to me shakes her head in a ''here it goes again'' kind of way. Have I talked about it too much already? I don't think so.
- It was so hard for me to... open my heart again, you know? Even if it was through a... simple text message. I was literally crying, like... ugly crying, as I was holding my phone, sitting in the corner of the room. I was like... 'what if he doesn't want me anymore... because it's too late and then... we don't have a chance to be together,' you know? Like I start overthinking everything, like I'm doing right now. - I let out a chuckle as they look at me with amusement listening to my craziness. - And I went on and on and on and then I thought something like 'What if I keep overthinking until I ruin a good thing?' Uhh! That's a nice lyric right there. - I pause for a second picking up my phone to write it down. - Anyway... Hmm, yeah, I mean. I was feeling anxious about all that stuff. And then he replied something like 'ok, let's do this'. And of course we don't have any idea how to start this... "thing," you know? It's like kind of weird, because... I mean, I've been friends with him for so long, and then we drifted apart, and then we got back together. I just have to...wait and... see what happens, but just waiting makes me anxious.
YOU ARE READING
Songs For You - (Shawmila, The Story) Vol. I
Fanfiction''Camila, you know it's been a long time coming.'' ''We can't keep doing this, Shawn.'' I sob, aware that my heart is breaking as well as his. ''I really didn't want to lose you, but I don't want to keep playing these games with you. I'm tired of bu...
