Track #31: First Man
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Camila's POV
January 26, 2020
It is difficult to breathe, it is difficult to concentrate on anything when you have that strange emptiness in your chest where your heart beats weakly, not knowing if at some point it will stop completely and you will no longer be able to continue. Your body runs out of strength and you feel like you can't fight anymore, that so much weight is falling on your shoulders that you can't get up... This is what I feel just now, collapsed at the foot of my bed like a lifeless statue, in a state of shock as I listen to the morning headlines.
I woke up early to the sound of my alarm, had breakfast with my sister, made a couple of calls coordinating the whole event with my team, continued my new meditation program and was supposed to go from here to the costume and make-up fitting with a great enthusiasm for tonight's surprise... But no. Today the world decided to act mean by taking away a group of innocent souls for whom I pray they rest in peace. It's terrible and I can't quite believe it.
I never met Kobe in person, but the lessons he left me with his legacy I will remember forever. I was a little girl starting out in this crazy music industry and it was to be expected that I had a lot of problems, I suffered a lot of pain... but he taught me to use that pain to make me a better person, a better Camila full of hopes and dreams to be fulfilled. The way he saw things made him a hero, to the world, to himself, to his wife... to his daughters. To think of his little Gianna joining him in heaven leaves me with mixed feelings. Father and daughter crossed the same path to a better life, as they say out there.
Today had to be the day this tragedy happened, just today when one of the biggest shows in the industry is being held at the home of the Lakers, at the home of Kobe. Just when I was planning to sing a song dedicated to my father for being one of my greatest heroes in this life comes this black cloud to take away the sunlight.
The world seems to come to a standstill, everything falls apart when I imagine myself in that situation, in that tragedy. Just as it could happen to anyone, it could happen to me. Losing a parent, a child, or whoever you consider close, family... it must be the worst thing you can experience... But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, right? There is always a ray of hope that can filter through that big cloud and point the way out, to move forward and not get stuck in lonely moments.
In my case, I'm lucky to have my partner, my best friend, a little piece of my heart holding my hand tightly as I climb out of that hole I've dug myself into, afraid of letting me go. Keeping his promise and taking care of me like papá asked him to.
Shawn wipes away my tears with his thumb and smiles sweetly at me. His eyes sparkle with wonder like they are watching a once-in-a-lifetime treasure.
- You got this, baby. - He murmurs kissing my forehead. - Make your father proud and sing your heart out.
At this point I am unable to say anything, let alone with all the adrenaline coursing through my entire body. But I nod at his words, focusing on them and channeling my emotions into something good. Let's do this, Camila. Let's make this day special for everyone. A tribute dedicated to all the daughters and fathers out there who have shared that simplest, purest love in the world....
***
Sofi distracts papá in the living room by convincing him to play a round of UNO with her while the car comes to pick us up to go to the Staples Center. I smile as I watch them laugh because they swear the other one cheated, still a little overwhelmed by this morning's episode. I'm better, however I wish I was even more so.
YOU ARE READING
Songs For You - (Shawmila, The Story) Vol. I
Fanfiction''Camila, you know it's been a long time coming.'' ''We can't keep doing this, Shawn.'' I sob, aware that my heart is breaking as well as his. ''I really didn't want to lose you, but I don't want to keep playing these games with you. I'm tired of bu...
