''Camila, you know it's been a long time coming.''
''We can't keep doing this, Shawn.'' I sob, aware that my heart is breaking as well as his. ''I really didn't want to lose you, but I don't want to keep playing these games with you. I'm tired of bu...
I finish my glass of water in one go as he fixes his hair and puts something back on over his white t-shirt in an attempt to look like nothing indecent just happened here. I do the same getting up from the chair to follow him taking his hand, scared of falling face first on the floor in these high heels from the incessant shaking in my legs.
I am barely able to pay attention to the passersby on the sidewalk as we walk a couple of blocks to the hotel where he is staying this day. My heart is pounding wanting to jump out of my chest and I squeeze his hand suddenly nervous about whatever is about to happen. He knows it as much as I do, so he sighs, increasing the speed of his steps forcing me to almost have to run to catch up with him on my short legs.
My palms sweat and other parts I don't even want to think about because I swear I'm melting right here under his intense gaze that tells me he's experiencing the same anxiety I'm feeling. His eyes sparkle dangerously as he looks me up and down with no nerve at all.
We walk through the hotel doors trying to act normal in order not to draw attention to ourselves and Shawn groans when he gets a text message that makes him let go of my hand so he can respond. I stand in the corner as we enter the elevator and am surprised to see him push the button to the parking garage.
- I have to go get a couple of things from the car.
- Are you serious? - I didn't mean to sound so needy but... I am.
- If you want... - He interrupts himself when someone else walks in behind him. He comes closer to whisper in my ear and that alone leaves me brokenhearted. - If you want you can wait for me in the suite. Your suitcase is there.
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I scowl at him but nod, hugging him from the side. Well, I do need a couple of minutes alone to calm down a bit... It's important not to lose my mind as soon as I have him in front of me as God brought him into the world... Just imagining it gives me tachycardia.
Once he has left me I head down the hallway looking for his room number with the key trembling in my hand. I know that the ones on this floor are reserved for Shawn's team so I wouldn't be surprised to find one of them around here, but thanks to the divine angels in heaven this is not the case and I allow myself to breathe easy, or as easy as I can be considering the circumstances that bring me here today.
I close the door behind me and turn on all the lights to see where I'm walking, lest I stumble because I'm clumsy and ruin what could be one of the best nights of my life.
I go to the bathroom undecided about what I should do now. Do I take a shower? Do I wait for him in the bedroom? Do I close the blinds? It's actually a good idea so I set about doing that taking with me a bottle of wine from one of the cupboards. I'm not going to get drunk, I just need something to help me relax temporarily....
