⏤ 09. inner conflicts

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Dad,
Hey.. I'm back.

Sorry for the reddish tint on the paper, I'm trying to stop the blood but I can't. Would have to find some medicine from Pomfrey.. or maybe not. I can't have Minnie find out about this, or she'll end up killing a bitch or two.

I wouldn't mind honestly, but I can't have her end up in Azkaban. She's my one firm, honest support system, because some people that are supposed to be aren't..

You might be wondering how I got all bloody.. or not. I don't know. I don't know if you care anymore.

There's this new teacher for DADA, she's a Ministry hag. And I ended up in a fight with her. But it wasn't my fault. She tried to bash Ced. She tried to call his murder an accident.

And then I fought her, obviously. I ended up in her office. She made me write lines with some special quill.. And then it was carved on the back of my hand.

I'm a hopeless destruction.

Is this why you've never replied? Am I hopeless to be still trying?

Ria stared at the words for a good moment. Three letters ago, she would have cut those words off. But she did not care anymore about what she wrote.

So, my hand's still a bit sore, but I'll manage. That's all I'm doing nowadays.. managing everything.

Anyway.. I hope I didn't disturb you.
Ria.


"These have got to be the stupidest decisions I ever take.." She muttered under her breath, handing the letter to Jude. But before she could hold it in his beak, Ria backed away a little.

What if he thinks I'm annoying? She thought. Great! I'm just giving him more reasons to stay away from me.

The owl screeched, breaking her thought process. "Oh, right. You have a long flight ahead of you. I'm sorry I send you back and forth to Romania so often. Take this to Dad?"

Jude took off with the letter in his beak, and Ria watched him fly away. 

Just one letter.. one reason why you've never tried to reach out. I know Jude won't make a mistake. He's your owl, he'll always find where you are, where your house is. 

Give me one reason why you're not getting in contact when you've had so many chances.. and I'll leave you alone if you want to.

Flash news! Maybe he never wanted a child.. She thought, chuckling lightly afterwards. Well, that would make much sense. With that unhealthy coping joke, she opened the letter that Jude had brought to her before she had sent him off again.

That Saturday morning had been pretty pleasant until Jude had pecked her finger at around five in the morning, when Ria was still asleep. She had been nervous the day before, because of the Quidditch tryouts, and had slept around two or three in the morning.

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