WangXian Forever 5

Chapter 93 Stars

They landed on soft grasses, still looking up, watching the miracle light show above them. Even when it faded, and they were sitting down, exhausted from their travelling, they still looked up.

Lan Zhan had clothed Wei Ying as soon as they landed. Camp was set up a few hours later, and one by one, the Flowers of Venus began to meditate.

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying were sitting a little further away, Li XiWang was already asleep, when Wei Ying turned to see Lan Zhan looking at him.

"Come here."

The deep voiced command sent shivers racing down his spine, and he was moving without thinking about it. Lan Zhan already had his arms open, waiting. Wei Ying sat himself down properly after kissing his cheek.

"What is Wei Ying thinking about?"

He snuggled closer, trying to find the right words for his thoughts.

"Well, we're here...finally and after all this travelling."

"Mn."

"But I don't know what to do now. We saw the lights, we saw the stars, but now what?" He sighed deeply. "You know me, Lan Zhan. You know I'll do whatever comes into my head and I'll do it without thinking. But I'm so scared...I'm scared that we've come all this way...and what if we fail?"

That last word hung like a ghost between them.

"Doesn't matter. Never mattered to me."

"Huh?" Wei Ying had been following his spiralling thoughts, sinking into a funk, not really hearing what he said.

Lan Zhan kissed his temple, bringing him back.

"Never cared about anything else except Wei Ying. Doesn't matter if we return to Gusu tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because we tried. Together. Nothing else matters."

"I know...I know you're right...up here." Wei Ying pointed to his head. "But here," he took Lan Zhan's hand and placed the warm palm against his heart. "This won't listen. It keeps telling me to try harder." Wei Ying blinked back tears.

Lan Zhan hated seeing him so distressed. He pulled out the scroll Li XiWang had found.

"Look."

The soft blue light off Bichen provided enough of a glow to read the parchment.

"For three nights, Beidou will face the East. Perhaps the answer will show itself. We may not have to do anything." He put away the scroll and returned to holding his husband.

"Lan Zhan...can I ask you a question?" Wei Ying settled closer, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Anything." It was a promise.

"Why do you know so much about the stars?" He rested his cheek against the strong shoulder.

"Told Wei Ying before." There was a hint of reluctance in his voice.

"No...no, you didn't. That was how do you know so much about stars. Now I'm asking you why."

The arms around his waist and back tightened.

And still, there was no answer.

Lan Zhan never refused his questions.

Wei Ying leaned back, and was shocked to see tears falling rapidly from golden eyes, rooted in misery. The depth of his pain was overwhelming and Wei Ying found his own eyes full of tears again.

"Please don't cry, Lan Zhan. I'm sorry I asked you. If it's too painful for you, you don't have to tell me." He kissed away the moisture.

"I'm trying." He swallowed hard.

"What do you need from me? I'm here." Wei Ying kissed him then, more to soothe than for passion.

It calmed them both, restoring a little balance.

"We don't have to talk about it, my love. It's okay."

Lan Zhan pressed his lips together, but shook his head.

"Only once. Never again."

"I promise." Wei Ying kissed him again, holding him close. "Have you got any water?"

Lan Zhan produced a flask and a cup, dutifully pouring some out and offering it to him. Wei Ying smiled at him before taking the cup and holding it to his lips.

"It will make you feel much better. Go on, my love." He watched the Jade empty the cup and refill it, this time, holding it his own lips.

Wei Ying drank it obediently, wiping his and Lan Zhan's mouth with his sleeve.

"Now tell me."

"After...after Nightless City. When you...when you..." he choked back a sob.

"After that." Wei Ying helped him, feeling terrible now.

"After that, was punished."

Wei Ying could feel the ridges through the many layers of Lan Zhan's robes. His own heart hurt at what this strong, resilient man had gone through for him.

"After three years...played Inquiry. Every night."

"Every night?"

"Mn. Was searching for Wei Ying. Wanted to join you."

Wei Ying sucked in a breath. He knew this, because Lan Zhan had confessed this much to his grandmother, that first time they had met.

"But...A-Yuan..." Lan Zhan took a shuddering breath. "Every night, sat outside Jingshi and looked at the stars. Wanted to know if Wei Ying could see them too, if he was somewhere watching them with me. If we were looking at the moon together, even apart."

For sixteen years, this incredible man had sat outside their home, learning the positions of the stars, their names and their stories, because he hoped that his soulmate was somewhere, seeing the same thing. To have a connection  however slight.

The hope that they still existed under the same sky, with the same stars and the same moon.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." Wei Ying couldn't stop his own tears now. "I wasn't in a good place." He took a deep breath. "But I'm here now." He vowed. "You're here now. We're together, and we never have to talk about that time again. I promise."

He wiped both their faces, gently.

"Now, no more crying, alright?"

"Mn."

"Come. Let's lie down."

They wrapped their arms around each other and fell asleep.

Above them in the sky, Chang'e looked down and smiled.