Survival Bonds

Chapter 24: Telling the Friends

Niffy is at my side. Severus has locked himself in his room since the outburst. It wasn't my intention to upset him, but I honestly think it wasn't my fault this time. He just... he just lost it. I'm sure he would have preferred anyone other than myself to witness him... losing it.

He looked so frightened. So tired. I just let Wendy tend to him. She seems adapt at catering to his moods. Not necessarily in a bad way.

Soon Severus and I will meet with Rita Skeeter to discuss Severus's innocence. But. If the whole of the wizarding world is going to learn that Severus and I are bonded, my friends will know first. I don't plan to tell them everything just because... I value Severus's privacy. But I can tell them enough from my side. And another thing. I'm going to need their help- as far as Severus is concerned.

I'm sure Severus will not be well received by everyone.

Niffy pats my arm as we head to Hogwarts. I meet my friends in the great hall, they are already there waiting for me.

They both hug me and we idlily chatter for a brief moment. They both know that not why I'm here though.

"Harry. There is something you wish to tell us?" Hermione asks in her polite inquisitive tone. She's not pressuring me. She's not saying I have to talk about it now. She's only saying that she is ready whenever I am.

"I told both of you last time there there was a guy that I'm sort of with." I start easily enough. They look at each other silently.

"I swear if this bloke hurt you..."

"No Ron it's nothing like that. Far from it actually. I'm not sure if Dumbledore has told you, but Professor Snape will be returning as potion's professor." Both of their mouths hang open. Apparently he did not. "Severus is loyal to the light." I say simply.

"But Harry. How can you be sure of that? He tried to kill Dumbledore last term."

"Yes. He did. But Dumbledore is the one who ordered him to. I have no doubts that Severus is..." How do I want to say it. I do not want to lie to my friends, but Severus said himself. He isn't loyal to Dumbledore. Just whichever side Voldemort isn't on. "Severus is not loyal to You-Know-Who." I exhale. Niffy pats my arm encouragingly. "In fact. Severus is the guy that I'm with."

Both stare at me wide eyed. As if I have been bewitched. Or cursed. Neither say anything at first.

"Harry... you just called him by his name." I hadn't realized. It's become natural to call him Severus.

"Yes. Severus and I are on a first name basis, but when he becomes my teacher again, I will call him Professor out of respect. Severus and I are soul bonded." It' s Ron who speaks.

"How did he trick you into it? Do you know how serious a soul bond is?!"

"He didn't. Well... I guess that's not completely true. He saved me. My relative's home was raided by death eaters, and he rescued me. Since then, I've been living with him and because the bond created by my aunt no longer existed, Dumbledore asked Severus to soul bond with me. Neither told me it was more or less permanent. But it isn't Severus's fault." Both of them look furious. "Look. This isn't about the soul bond. Severus and I are going to hold an interview with Rita Skeeter. We are going to fix Severus's reputation, and he will not be a spy for the light anymore."

Again, they both look at each other like I'm the one speaking nonsense.

"Harry."

"Hermione. I'm the one who decided he wasn't going to return as a spy. There are things about him that I cannot tell anyone. But he's not the sort of person that I thought he was." Niffy is smiling gently while looking down in her lap. It's just Niffy, so I don't mind saying it. "I want to protect him. I think I might..." I don't want to say love. Love is to much too soon. "I care about him."

"It's Stockholm syndrome. Or maybe Florence Nightingale Syndrome. He saved you that doesn't mean that you actually have romantic interest in him." Hermione tries to reason. "Maybe if you felt someone for him before it would make sense, but you hated him before all of this."

Could she be right? No. I think for once she's wrong.

"Hermione, I'm not blinded or starry eyed." I start. "He's an asshole. I think possibly bipolar. An all- around difficult person to get to know. Deeply flawed. And someone who has been hurt worse than anyone could imagine. I haven't forgotten the bad. I'm not blinded."

"Then he forced you!" Ron says. He looks green. "I know that a soul bond means that both of you had to... you two had to have..." he can't say it.

"We had sex." I finish for him. Hermione goes pale.

"Did he take advantage of you?" Ron asks seriously. The question is so ludicrous to me that I have to try not to laugh. But I can't blame him for asking me. If I didn't know what I know... then I might would question the same thing in his situation.

"Ron. Hermione. Both of you are my closest friends. Severus has not done anything at all to take advantage of me. He would never. He hasn't hurt me. In fact. He's been fairly kind all things considered." Niffy pats my arm and the action isn't lost on my friends.

"Is that his elf?" Hermione asks. I know what she's thinking. She's thinking the same thing I initially thought. That Severus was the one who hurt her.

"Yes, she is. Although, technically she is a free elf. But she has chosen to help Severus, because she cares about him and he cares about her." Niffy remains quiet. "Severus saved her from her original masters. He isn't a bad person. He's just hasn't had a chance to show anyone what type of man he really is."

I can tell neither of them are convinced. I know that I shouldn't blame them, but I can't help but come to Severus's defense.

"He's... He's a git though. And he doesn't bathe properly. He always has a bad attitude. Harry. Not him." Ron seems to plead. I half expect him to say 'AND HE'S A SLYTHERIN!'

"Severus is actually a very clean person. I think it's just the potion fumes and the fact that he has really dark hair. And I would be in a bad attitude too if I had to deal with You-Know-Who hurting me just to protect students that hate me. Ron, I know you don't like him. But he and I are soul bonded. And I've decided that I care about him. I decided that I want to protect him. I really need my friends to help me. Not everyone- especially in Gryffindor- will be willing accept his change."

It's quiet. Niffy clears her throat.

"Master Severus is scared." She says as if it's common knowledge. "He is afraid of being someone that can be pushed around. He had to fight hard to become strong and finding a middle ground is not easy. In the safety of his home, he can be fragile and caring, but once he leaves, he hides in his suit of armor. Because he is afraid. Master Severus cares very deeply for his students. He may not show it, but I know he does." He looks down at her hands in her lap. "And I know he cares for Master Harry as well. It is important to Master Severus that Master Harry is safe. It is his primary concern, above any other."

"Harry. Are you sure that it's... Snape you like." Hermione asks.

"Yes. But. I don't want to talk about liking him right now. In fact... I don't really want him to know that I think I might like him like that. He cares about me. But. Only because I'm my mother's son. There isn't anything going on between us other than... well. Honestly. It's complicated. I'm not sure really what his stance with me is. I don't think he has any interest in anything romantic."

It really is confusing for me. Ron exhales.

"Look Harry. I'll be nice to the bloke, but for the record, I still don't like him. If he hurts you..." Ron doesn't finish his sentence. Hermione pats Ron's arm.

"We just worry about you Harry, but if you trust him, then we will try to trust him."

"Thank you." I say. I suppose this could have gone worse, so I am thankful. Niffy smiles at me. I would love Severus to have more people that care about him. More people that trust him, but I'm afraid that will probably be a slow process.