Survival Bonds

Chapter 15: Poppy explains

She's looking at me. Her eyes narrowed in confusion. Niffy is looking guiltily away.

"Harry dear, you are bonded to Severus." I know it's a close secret, but it's obvious that she knows. "Right. You and I will talk after Severus is comfortably in bed." She waves her wand and he easily floats. He thrashes for a moment, but she doesn't look surprised. "Stubborn boy. You can't expect to singlehandedly take on everything." She's shaking her head chastisingly at him. "It's clear you are running yourself ragged." I walk closely to her as she enters his room with a level of confidence that says she's done this too many times. She eases him into bed and devoids him of clothing. I look away if only to preserve his modesty. She on the other hand begins searching threw drawers until she finds what she wants. With ease she dresses him and when I turn around, she is easing the blanket over him. She pours a vile of what looks to be dreamless sleep down his throat.

A searing pain feels like it's being etched into my bones. I have to fight to keep from buckling to the ground. Poppy notices, but doesn't pull away from Snape yet. She smooths his hair down. "Wendy sweetheart. Where are you?" She calls sweetly. The elf peaks around a corner, looking into the room. "Could you be a sweetie and take a nap with Sevy?" She nods enthusiastically.

"Wen wen will look after Sevy!"

"I know you will sweet girl." Poppy taps my arm as she leaves the room. Before I pull away from the sight of the sallow man on the bed, I watch mesmerized as Wendy crawls next to him. She cuddles against him as if he were some life-sized teddy bear. She doesn't at all look hesitant.

I find Poppy in the empty Library. She is sitting in the seat I normally take, so I take Snape's. His thick scent immediately over takes my senses and I'm reminded of the pain deep in my bones that I still feel. She reaches over with a vial.

"You may wish to take this. I can imagine that you are in pain now, correct?" I immediately drink the contents down needing this pain to dissipate even if only a little. "I am assuming that you know nothing?"

"No. I don't." She nods. Then turns to the head elf.

"Niffy, might you bring us some tea? I would be very grateful." Reluctantly she disappears to retrieve the asked for drink.

"Poppy, can you please..." She holds up her hand.

"We will wait until Niffy returns."

"You know about the elves." I say instead. She nods thoughtfully.

"Yes. It was very important to Severus that the existence of his elves remain secret. Especially little Wendy's. You may not be aware, but a house elf without magic is considered useless. They are more often than not killed. The existence of one Is very rare, but they are not typically granted a long life. Because of this, and the nature of his other elves, very few have had the privilege of meeting them."

"Snape must really trust you." I say lightly. She laughs.

"Yes, Severus does indeed trust me completely."

"How did you... get him to... trust you like that." I'm not sure why I'm asking or why I want to know. She closes her old aged eyes for a moment in thought.

"I did the absolute unthinkable." She says laughing all the while. "I defended a Slytherin student." She actually rolls her eyes. "The school is much to divided. A person in the right is in the right no matter what house they are aligned with. My first year as a medi-witch at Hogwarts, there was this little awkward Slytherin boy that always seemed to get into trouble. This group of Gryffindor boys put him in my beds more often than I can even recall. Most of the time the injuries were minor. Once though. He was attacked by a werewolf at the school." She looks at me knowingly. "That boy was unfortunately at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was way to curious. Still. It didn't matter how close his life came to being forfeit. He received all of the blame while the guilty party was more or less ignored." She exhales. "I have also tended to Severus's wounds many times. I've earned his trust through years of kindness. He is not an easy man to sway, but once he trusts you, once he cares for you, he will do anything in his power for that person's safety and happiness. Every student that has ever entered my medical wing is in my care. Regardless."

"Your tea." Niffy says handing a cup to Poppy and then to me.

"Niffy, is there anything you would like to say?" The house elf remains silent. "Niffy, you are a great house elf, and I know your primary goal is to please your master, but you do realize that doing as he desires may not benefit him in the long run. Young Harry may seem brash," Poppy looks at me, "and there are many things he doesn't understand, but I believe he has a right to know about this bond that he is apart of." Niffy looks away again.

"Master is very... scared of this bond."

"I'm sure he Is Niffy. Maybe young Harry can help us alleviate that some." The two lock eyes and seem to have an unspoken conversation. Then the house elf nods.

"I will trust that you have my master's best in mind." Poppy smiles gently.

"I always do Niffy. Harry." She turns to me. "This pain you are feeling, I'm sure you understand that it's not yours. You are feeling a muted version of whatever Severus feels. You claim that you have not been feeling pain that comes and goes suddenly?"

"I have... But it never lasts for long. I just thought... I don't know what I thought." Poppy nods at my answer.

"If I had to guess, I would say that Severus who is known to be skilled in occlumency has been shielding you. The effect on one's body is transferred to the bond mate as well. Strong thoughts. Dreams are often a common one." She turns to Niffy. "It is clear that Severus is sleeping even less regularly than normal."

"Yes. Master did not want Harry to possibly see a dream. He has slept as little as he possibly can."

"I can equally understand why Severus may have not wanted you to know. You would not like him seeing so easily nightmares that we both know you have. Or any strangeness your body may experience. Severus is a very private man. He doesn't wish to share and he doesn't wish to be shared with. It is just how he is."

"Um. Are you saying that he can see any dream?"

"No. I'm saying he can see all of your dreams. Just as you can see his. Severus cannot shield his mind when he is unconscious, so I can only surmise that the few times you've felt that phantom pain was when he lost consciousness." He's seen my dreams. He's seen that dream. "Severus is very skittish by nature. He would seek to protect his weak points first. Hiding anything that can make him look week. And that isn't even bringing up the Death eater meetings." She actually shivers.

This is humiliating. He knows about that stupid dream. I don't think I can look him in the eyes again. It's no wonder he was acting so... elusive. He was trying not to let on that he knew about. Damn it that dream was too vivid.

"You and he will have to learn to work together. I know that both of you have started, but as a bonded pair, there will be many differences that you two will have to overcome."

"We only have to make it until the war and then Snape said he could unbond us." She stands abruptly knocking the tea onto the group. Her face is twisted in righteous fury. And all of the fury is focused on me. I look to Niffy for help. Or an explanation. What did I do?

"You will not ask Severus to break the bond." Her tone is threatening. Daring me to go against her. She's searching my face, and in the next moment hers softens. "You don't know what that would entail do you?" She asks breathlessly. "You have no idea what he would have to sacrifice. You weren't told. Dumbledore and Severus knew you wouldn't agree if you knew, so they kept it from you with half baked lies."

"Poppy, I don't understand what you mean."

"Harry Potter. Dear. Bonds are seldom used because of how unbreakable they are. Most conventional wizards and witches do not use them because the option of leaving is all but void. There are two types of bonds that two magical folk will enter into. The first is the most common. It unites them in body. The mind can still change. And the bond can be broken. And then there is the one that you entered into with Severus. It is a bond of the soul. The stronger the bond the more damaging it is to leave it. You and he are both strong wizards." She's pacing frantically. Niffy is looking at her feet in shame. "To ask him to break the bond. At best, all of his magic would be forfeit and he would have less magic than a squib. That's at best. At worse- and more likely in the case of you and Severus. In order to break the bond he would have to relinquish his own life."