Survival Bonds

Chapter 41: Shh don't tell Severus

He probably wouldn't want me to do this. Actually, I know he wouldn't. I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm not even supposed to talk to her.

"Hello Harry, you don't normally come to the potion's club." Megan smiles at me kindly. Now that I look at her with the newfound knowledge, it's much easier to see slight resemblances to her uncle. Both have dark hair and dark eyes- though her colors are much lighter than Severus's. The few times that I have spoken to her, she appeared much more reserved but not necessarily weak willed.

I don't know any other way to say this other than- I can tell she is really loved and well taken care of outside of Hogwarts.

Now that I'm here I forget what my excuse for coming was. Guess I should wing it.

"I've wanted to speak with you about the potion club for a while. How did you come to be the leader of it?" She laughs lightly at my question.

"That's what you want to talk about? Why, are you planning on usurping me just because your husband is the potion master of this school?" Her tone is clearly joking with no malice or hints of negativity. "It's really not an exciting story. No one wanted to be the potion club president except for a dork like me. I just love this stuff!" She realizing her excitement and then pulls herself back a bit. Would Severus act like this if he was nurtured as a child instead of abused. "So I asked Professor Snape because you have to have the potion master's approval of course for a potion club. It always existed but it was mostly just a goof off club. It's not much different now except we focus more on tutoring. Well. Mostly it consisted of me helping students but not that Professor Snape is doing his own tutoring there haven't been many coming to the potion club anymore." It's quite for a moment and she holds up both of her hands. "Not that I'm saying that I'm upset with him. I'm really glad that students are getting the help they need it's just been really quiet. No one other than me seems to have any real interest in potions. They only wanted help with their assignments. But everyone seems to be doing much better so that makes me happy."

I can see why Severus loves her. I love her and I hardly know her. She really is like a princess. Pure and friendly.

"You really like potions." I say. She smiles and nods.

"I really do. My parents don't understand it really. And neither do my friends. It's really a shame it has such a bad connotation with people because of the medieval view of witches and wizards around a cauldron and it's pseudo relationship to the dark arts. Like the wolvesbane potion!" She exclaims. "It is considered dark because it is one of the most deadliest poisons that can be brewed, but it's use is anything but evil. Even the killing curse was not originally evil. It was originally painless and done by mediwitches to ease dying patients on their journey to the afterlife, but it's use became twisted." She's rambling. Just talking. Happy to talk about something she is passionate about with anyone that is interested enough to listen.

"Are your parents supportive." It feels weird asking that and it makes her pause for a long moment. She tilts her head at my arbitrary question.

"I couldn't imagine being raised by more loving parents." She's not smiling while she says this though. "My parents aren't really my parents though. They love me and I completely consider them my parents, but they are not biologically mine. It was pretty easy to figure out and not something they could really hide from me." She smiles very softly. "My mom... my adoptive mom is unable to have children because she was once a man. I hope to one day develop a potion that can help my mom have the biological children she always wanted. They have always been very honest with me and very supportive even if they do not completely understand my wants. I'm not really sure why my biological parents did not want me. I feel like..." She pauses. "This is going to sound bonkers but from one orphan to another..." She looks at me meaningfully. "I remember large hands holding me lovingly in a pink room. I have dreams about it sometimes. Being hummed to. Being held close and I can't be sure that those are real memories or just wishful thinking. I would like to believe that I wasn't given away because I wasn't loved."

That hurts. More than I can let her know.

"Oh. And don't tell anyone that my parents are not the conventional type. I mean that my mother was once I man. I'm not in anyway ashamed of them. In fact like I said I couldn't imagine more perfect parents. But. There are people who would make comments. I consider myself to be a pretty kind person. I am not normally quick to anger, but before I came to Hogwarts I became really use to fighting. I'm a bit protective of my family, and I really don't want to kick anyone's ass for making a stupid homophobic comment." She smiles sweetly and I get a chill up my spine. Yes. This girl is definitely related to Severus.

"It's alright, I understand." She smiles much kinder.

"I had a feeling you might. I'm not necessarily trying to hide it. If anyone did find out then so be it. But my parents..." She pauses. "They were always afraid that I would get bullied simply because they are different." She shakes her head. "My parents who are loving and kind and supportive get criticized while 'normal' abusive families do not." She smiles again. "I don't know what you expected from talking to me. I don't know what your real reason is..." She pauses. "But I hope I answered whatever question you had."

She did. Without me even knowing what I wanted to gain from this conversation, I found it.

She's happy. She's loved. With that, I feel better.

"I'm going to ask a favor of you. It might sound crazy, but I would really appreciate if you made it a point to not go on the Hogsmeade trips. I'll keep your secrets, but please don't tell anyone that I asked you to stay behind. Please. Just come up with an excuse that you aren't feeling well or something. This war is going to come to a head soon enough."

"Why me?" She asks. "We've been classmates for seven years and I can count on one hand the number of times we've talked outside of the classroom. I could understand if you were asking everyone to stay behind, but you aren't. You are only asking me. That simply doesn't add up."

Severus isn't going to like this. She's too clever. I didn't expect her to outright call me out.

"I'm afraid that you could become a target. Anyone could really, but if you because a target it could be really bad." She crosses her arms and for a moment she reminds me of Severus. She's just like my husband.

"Why could it be bad if I were to be a target. I am no different from any other student." But she is. "I know that people think Hufflepuffs are stupid, but we aren't. I can't make you tell me. But if you do not, I can't guarantee that I'll stay behind."

"I can't tell you. It isn't my place to tell you." I have to back out.

"Then it also wasn't your place to come and speak to me." She leans in close and her dark eyes look all the darker, like she is staring into my soul. "Does your husband know you are doing something naughty?" I take a step back but she follows. "I first got into potions because I know memories never truly dissipate. I thought if I could unlock my infantile memories then I could see why my parents didn't love me. I found out much more than I was likely suppose to. I found out that I was very much loved even if not by my biological parents. My uncle loved me very much. He called me Princess in fact. Since the memories were that of an infant, some things are blurry, but I've known for quite some time that Professor Snape was once my guardian. I have no idea why he gave me away. I have no idea why he suddenly decided that he didn't want me, but I knew there was a point that he did love me. I've never confronted him. He's also never treated me any different than any other student, so it's clear he doesn't think of me as his princess any longer. It's clear he wishes to pretend I never existed. So why are you here Harry?" She narrows her eyes. "And why are you crying?"

I can't stop myself. I can't stop myself.

My arms are around her. I can deeply understand the pain she is feeling and because Severus loves her, I cannot stand to see her hurting. How long has she known and how long has she thought that Severus did not want her? How long has she thought that her uncle hated her.

"He never knew you were so close. He wanted you. He still loves you. He mourns for his Princess and can't forget the fact that he was told he was unfit to raise you. He was told he wasn't good enough to be your guardian. But he loves you. In his house your room is still the way it's been since you were taken from him. The crib. The toys. It's as if you were abducted in the middle of playing. He never wanted to lose you. You are his daughter. His daughter that he was told he wasn't good enough to love. For him, you will always be someone he cherishes."

Her fingers lay on the top of my head. I should feel pathetic crying into this girl's shoulder, and maybe I would if her head wasn't in mine crying just as hard.