Survival Bonds

Chapter 58: Who was the real villian?

He is standing before me. Old and sickly. He isn't nearly as terrifying as I've always pictured him. He extents his hand to me palm down. For a moment I just look at the gray skeleton-like hand.

"Lay yours over top mine and tell me what you feel." Is the clear voice. Nagini slithers protectively around her master's neck. She's such a large snake that I'm surprise her weight isn't crushing his frail frame. "I said lay yours over top mine and tell me what you feel." I shouldn't be listening to him. He's killed so many people. He's evil. He wants me dead. But all of my instincts tell me that this man is not a threat. I know the things he has done. I try to reason with myself. I try to remind myself that my own parents are dead because of this man. That doesn't stop me though. My palm closes over the top of his hand and it feels like ice.

"It's cold." Is the first thing I say.

"Yes yes. Aside from that. What do you feel." Fear? No. Anger... not even that. I don't feel anything.

"Nothing." He smiles as if I answered correctly.

"Yes. Nothing."

"What is your point!"

"I am displaying all of magic. I am not holding back anything. My magic was once very strong- as all the heirs to the founders are. It rivaled yours. Let's see if this sounds familiar. A mother dying shortly after her son was born, that son grew up treated as a freak. The mother was on all accounts loving, but still she was not allowed happiness."

"My mother was happy."

"I was talking about me you silly silly boy." His eyes look so tired. "My mother fell in love with a muggle boy. My mother who was mistreated by her family longed only to have someone care for her. She fed a love potion to a muggle boy and together they created life. But my mother couldn't bare to keep him under control. It wasn't real love. He left. He scored her and it devastated her. My mother fell into a deep depression. She could have been saved, but no one would bother." He looks at his hands. "I killed my father. A man that looked so much like me. A man who I got my name from. I hated him. I hated myself." He shakes his head. "But that came later. When I was sixteen."

"What does any of this have to do with the war!"

"Everything!" He shouts. "Do you know what happens to an unwanted child when they are shown affection?" He shakes his head. "Of course you know! He did it again. How easy it must have been for him to manipulate you. A charismatic man comes along and he could almost be considered fatherly. You of course want to please this well respected man because no one else has ever seen your worth. You are willing to do anything he asks of you. And you are even pleased when he asks you into his bed chambers. Yes. Of course it hurts. But it makes you so happy to be accepted. And how much time do you spend with him. Being caressed and touched."

I don't take a step back. I don't run away. Even though I want to. He's ignoring that I'm even here. I say nothing and just let him say whatever it is he needs to say. But I don't like it. I don't like what he's implying but I'm disillusioned enough to believe it.

"If you feel disgust then he punishes you, but if you feel pleasure... then you are dirty. How is wrong to feel pleasure at being held. No matter the pain!" He exhales. "He tells you that there is something he needs done... something only you can do. You are excited to prove yourself. After all. He was the first person to really care anything about you. He tells you that the rumors of a secret chamber are more than just rumors. He tells you that you are special... you of all people! Can you believe that. A boy that was unwanted by his father and who's mother would have loved you if she could have only let go of the past. A boy that was never adopted even though he was reasonably intelligent. A boy that was terrified of how different he was. But this talented powerful man tells you that you are special. You follow his directions... go into the girls lavatory. Speak parseltongue."