Waxing Gibbous

Frustrations (A)

I had stayed up later than usual, deciding to sketch a little but threw the book down in exasperation when the picture turned into something I didn't want it to.

"this is ridiculous" I whispered to myself "it's getting out of hand now"

I ripped the page out and threw it in the trash can refusing to look at the golden eyes. It was like I was some sort of obsessive creep. Why couldn't I get her out of my head? She didn't want anything to do with me, hell she probably only knew I existed because I bumped into her.

I decided to take a bath before going to sleep, maybe it would help me relax.

I don't remember how long I was in the tub, but long enough for the water to cool. I was feeling more relaxed but feared my dreams would not be the same as I returned to my room.

My room was much like the rest of the house, wood floors, a cabin like appearance, with a rock wall and fireplace – well an electric fireplace. Toby had his own bed off to the side of my bed, but occasionally he would join me on my bed. Despite it looking small around my bed, it actually wasn't. My bed was in the corner of my room in front of my fireplace, but off to the side I had my office and a walk-in closet. It was just sectioned off.

It was also, technically upstairs but the window was out at ground level.

That night it was quiet... too quiet in the rainy town. I had gotten so used to falling asleep to the sound of rain that it was weird.

By Friday I was starting to feel better, Rosalie hadn't shown up at all, so I was starting to believe she dropped out or something. While that hurt to think about, it was better for my mental state, I was starting to draw other things, my mind didn't wander to her, 90% of the day- maybe 75%.

At lunch I was distracted by the trip to La Push that Mike was putting together. I easily agreed to go and offered to drive; my mom had agreed to let me drive her car, since it would fit five plus coolers and stuff. This meant Lee didn't need to borrow his mom's minivan.

In art I began painting my mask, having added the perfect amount of layers to it. It looked nicer than the first one but still wasn't good enough. Thankfully I had another chance, this one would need some more preliminary work.

Friday evening, my mother and I joined Charlie and Bella for dinner, Eve had dinner with Mark. And I was wishing I was there too-even being a third wheel wouldn't have been as awkward as this.

My mom was trying her best to smooth everything over, like she was used to this. But since she grew up with Charlie, I'm assuming she is. Bella was even more awkward than I have ever seen her.

The weekend went off without issue though, I showed Bella the library but as she put it was so small it wasn't worth getting a library card, unfortunately I agreed with her.

"yeah, Forks is limited in the extras department. Unless of course you want to go camping, then the Newtons have quite an array of gear. Usually, I go to Port Angeles to get craft supplies and other goods. Sometimes i go to the reserve, but they don't have a bookstore really."

"what do kids do around here for fun?" Bella chuckled slightly.

"well, depends. In the summer surfing or camping. But during the school year..." I sighed "nothing much. Sometimes we go to La Push but it's kind of a solitary kind of town"

"so, you just stay at home? Read?"

"draw, paint, hike... there's some nice rivers around so when we get our big thaw it's a great place to go kayaking."

"sounds like fun" she drawled. "nice car"

I smiled slightly as I unlocked the doors for us to get in. "yeah, my mother and Aunt got it for my birthday. A little much but my aunt firmly believes you only get to be young once. You wouldn't believe it if you saw her, she still acts like a teenager. She thinks a fast car is only the beginning, next thing you know she'll have me sky diving or something."